We all might think we’re focused in the now during sex with our flame, but more often than not people are completely distracted between the sheets. What are you really thinking about during sex?
1. Are You Thinking About The Other Person?
First of all, we can break this down into three main groups. You’re either thinking about yourself, the other person, or something totally out of the ballpark. So ask yourself, do you think about your partner during sex? If the answer is no, bear with us… we’ll get to that part soon. If the answer is yes, what about them are you thinking about? Chances are you’re projecting into the potential future with this person. Future date nights… future engagement… what your parents will think of them… My tip to you? Slow your roll! Try to stay in the moment and make sure you 100% vibe together first. Looks and sex aren’t everything, but let’s be real, they’re pretty important if a relationship is going to last.
2. Are You Thinking About Yourself?
It may sound strange, but it’s actually more common than you think. Naturally, people are absorbed in themselves. Whether it’s in a positive or negative way depends on the person. So when you’re thinking about yourself, are you psyching yourself out? More often than not, we’re so worried about how we look, how we feel to the other person, if we’re exciting enough or boring in bed, etc. Occasionally we might get too cocky in bed and give off the impression that we are the best thing this person will ever have. It’s okay to be confident, just don’t push it too far. Overthinking things during sex is a big no-no. Like we said, try to stay in the moment here. Connect with the person you’re with. Even if it’s just a fling, the best sex is being tangled up in each other physically, mentally, and emotionally.
3. Is Your Brain Even In The Same Room?
Now and again, we might catch ourselves totally spaced out during sex. In case you didn’t know this, that’s a really bad sign. When you’re having sex with someone and your mind is wandering all over to other people, places, and things, the sex is probably pretty bad. Of course, there is always the slight chance that you’re just a very easily distracted person, but if you plan on keeping any kind of partner with a physical relationship in the future, you might want to get that in check. There is nothing more crushing to someone during sex than realizing their partner isn’t even present.
4. How Do You Fix It?
The truth is, that’s totally up to you. There is no “one answer cures all” when it comes to the down and dirty. We’re all different in sexuality, preference, attraction, kinks, etc. In general, staying focused might just take a little practice, and literally all you have to do is -stay focused-. Now that doesn’t mean try so hard that you creep your partner out with some intense glare because you’re “focusing”. Just identify what kind of distraction you are dealing with and go from there. If you’re insecure, practice building confidence. If you’re cocky, practice being humble. If you are just a complete space cadet, practice reeling yourself in. From that point on is on an individual basis. Do not get discouraged by any of this either. No one is a professional right from the start. If that was the case there would be no such thing as that awkward phase we ALL go through but never talk about when learning what or who turns us on or off.