If you have yet to find yourself falling for a fuckboy and dreaming of him turning into your Prince Charming, you go girl. Most of us have been there, and it sucks, and usually ends in disappointment. Well, from my expeirence it’s not impossible but you have to be patient and strategic all while remembering your worth. Below I’ve listed ten steps that will either help you land your dream man, or help you cross that jerk off the list and move on.
1. Keep Him At An Arm’s Distance
Repeat after me, “They don’t deserve to know you until you’re the only one they want to know.”. From my experience, guys who act like fuckboys usually either have tons of girls falling all over them, or they have virtually no girls interested but act like all the girls LOVE them. (We’ve all met one of these before). Either way, the one thing both these fuckboys have in common, they never have their eye on one person. Where there is one, there are ten more.
So, your first line of defense if you want to be the one that stands above the others, don’t let him get too close. The mistake a lot of other girls will make is opening up to them in order to feel closer to the fuckboy so when you come around and keep him guessing, his interest will spike. Make him work for you. If he wants to know who the real you is, he will have to earn it.
2. Don’t Be Like Everyone Else
If you haven’t noticed the girls that fall all over the fuckboys of the world and felt a little bad, well, I hate to break it to you, you probably are that girl. Don’t worry though, we’ve all been that girl before. It’s easy to fall into the pattern of wanting to give this guy everything so he likes you but from the outside, it looks pathetic and THAT is not queen energy. So, find what makes you stand out and run with that. Be different from the other girls and if your heart desires to fall all over him, fine, do it, but do it differently. The key to sparking his interest in the first place is being different from the rest.
3. Hold True To Yourself
This is the big mistake we all make. Trust me, I have done it more than I’d like to admit but I beg of you, do not change yourself to be what you think they want you to be. I know it’s cheesy, but if they don’t want you for you, they’re not the one for you. Plain and Simple. Plus, there is nothing sexier than someone who is unapologetically themselves.
4. Grab The Power
Okay, so we’ve established the importance of being different and staying true to yourself. Here’s the game changing part, YOU hold the power in this, not the fuckboy. So how do you hold the power? Well, first, don’t be the one fawning all over him. When he starts to fawn over you, or at least, put in a good amount of effort for you, that’s when you show that you care. I’m not advocating for playing games. I’m only suggesting you wait until he deserves it to show how much you care.
5. Focus On Your Grind
Don’t get distracted by any man. Say that again. No matter how much you are interested in this fuckboy, do not give up what you love for him. The best way to get a man to respect you is by showing him that you respect yourself and your time. If they get the message that you have your own life and he is not the priority, he will know that he is lucky to be in the picture at all. If you’re not getting the attention you want from this guy, take a step back and do you. I promise, he’ll come back, they always do.
6. Keep Your Head Down
As someone who loves to be the center of attention, it can be hard to remember to lay low and watch from the sidelines but in the game of turning a fuckboy to your dream man, laying low and observing the world around you can be a game changer. I am not suggesting this tip so he finds you cute and mysterious, I am telling you to lay low for a second because it can be easy to fall for who a fuckboy pretends to be, but, before you put in the effort to make him yours, you’ll want to find out who he really is. The easiest way to really break through the facade of a fuckboy, is observing how he acts.
7. Be Strategic
Do not waste your time on the games. We’ve all played them and as sad as it is to admit, we’ve probably all had fun playing them at one time or another. Games aren’t the solution to a healthy relationship and once the games are over, the interest is gone once again. So instead of playing games I challenge you to be strategic. Don’t wait around for a text and ignore it for 2 hours so you seem busy. Instead, when you see his name pop up on your phone, do something for you, go for a run, or answer a few emails, then reply. No, he won’t know you just went for a three mile run, all he’ll know is that it took you twenty minutes to reply.
Why is that strategic? Well, because he’ll see you’re clearly not playing the waiting two hours to reply to the game, but he will be left wondering what you were doing that made you not able to reply immediately.
8. Don’t Indulge In The Drama
When you see a fuckboy you can usually find a few of his “options” following behind wherever he goes. With that, you will inevitably be hit with a few angry girls coming your way when you succeed at taking this fuckboy off the market. Don’t play into the drama. Of course they’re upset, you’ve all been working towards the same goal of getting this one man to be down for only you, and you’re the one that succeeded.
Assuming that most girls won’t rush to start a fist fight, I’d be willing to bet that the “drama” coming your way will be rumors about his interest in other girls and lots of stories about all the girls before you. Don’t let it phase you. Not only is it sexy for a girl to not react immediately when hearing something but it shows him how mature you are.
9. Know What You Deserve & Don’t Settle For Less
If you are lowering your standards and bending your morals just to impress some guy, he’ll be able to tell, and he will lose interest. Lowering your standards also just sets you up for failure because if you lower them to get him to like you in the first place, chances are he won’t raise the bar once you get him. How you expect to be treated is also a direct correlation with how you will be treated. If they can get away with treating you like trash once, I promise you, it will happen again.
10. Know When To Walk Away
Most importantly, if he is not giving you what you deserve, walk away. The truth of the matter is, there is no foolproof way to make a fuckboy turn into your dream man because some of them are just too immature to be the man you need them to be. It’s so hard to walk away from something you want but trust me, when you do, you’ll always be led to something better soon after.
Remember, there are trillions of people in this world, so yes, you can try to change a fuckboy but if they don’t want to change they wont. So keep your head up, and go out and find yourself a man who will give the world to be by your side.
Jenna Summer is twenty-something spending her days exploring New York City and chasing her dreams. As a recent graduate from The American Musical & Dramatic Academy, Jenna has been spending her time in the city itching to perform. She has performed Stand Up Comedy at many comedy clubs around the city as well as performing in sketch shows and cabarets with Upright Citizens Brigade and Others. During her time in school, she also fell in love with writing. Her goal is to be able to use her voice to inspire, entertain, and make people laugh.