We’ve all been there–that fateful moment when our crush becomes more than that and we want to tell them that we’re feeling a bit more for them. The moment is scary and can be super intimidating. You begin to wonder if your crush has the same feelings, if they only see you as a friend, how they’re going to react to your confession, and whether or not it’s really worth it to tell them anything. Telling your crush you like them is one of the hardest things to do but can be one of the most rewarding things. When you think you’ve mustered up the courage to tell them how you really feel, take a look at our suggestions on how you can tell your crush you like them. We’ve laid out some steps that can make the process a little less nerve-wracking and get you some clarification on how they’re feeling too.
1. Know exactly how you feel.
Before you tell your crush you’re into them it is best that you know exactly what you are feeling. You don’t want to admit your feelings and then just have it turn out to be a temporary thing that is only going to last a week. You need to know if you can see yourself in a real relationship with this person. Once you’ve clearly established that you have real feelings for your crush, it’s time to work through the scary part and actually tell them because the conversation will be well worth the anxieties. You’ll know whether or not you are meant to be with this person, rather than regretting never telling them how you truly feel.
2. Set a deadline.
Now that you know you want to have the talk with your crush, it’s important that you set a deadline for when it should happen. Nerves are hard to push past and if you know for sure that you can’t just up and say it whenever, go ahead and set a deadline for yourself. We all need a little push sometimes. Set a date and even write it into your calendar as a reminder. Whatever you do, don’t keep putting it off because the longer you wait the harder it might get for you to say something, and the more time you give them to consider someone else because you haven’t said you like them in that way.
3. Choose your moment wisely.
There’s never a right time to tell your crush you’re feeling them on a deeper level, but there are factors that play into creating a moment that is ideal for the conversation. You want to tell your crush you like them after you’ve spent enough time with them to really get to know them. Jumping in before you know who they really are as a person isn’t the ideal situation. You also need to consider the outside circumstances that might make you put the confession on hold. Don’t start the conversation if one of you is still working to get over an ex, looking to just hook up, or an emotional trauma or stress has been put on either of you. This is an important conversation so you want to make sure the timing is the best it can be.
4. Get the setting right.
This is a face-to-face kind of talk; it shouldn’t be discussed over text or through anyone’s DMs. Even if the thought of telling your crush how you feel makes you want to vomit or gouge your eyes out it is still something that needs to be done in person. It should be discussed in a casual, semi-private setting so that no one is embarrassed or nervous during the conversation. Keep the setting casual, like talking a walk or meeting up at the beach, means it’s not too crowded but you can still be comfortable with one another. Keep it light and don’t freak them out by saying you have something you need to talk about because that just makes it weird.
5. Say the words.
The whole point of the meetup is to tell your crush you have feelings for them so you are going to have to say those words, “I like you.” It doesn’t need to be a huge profession of love, because honestly, is it love yet, but you do have to come out and let them know what and how you are feeling. Mixed communication will just confuse everyone and keep you from saying what you want to say and getting a reaction from your crush. It’s okay to be a little silly by letting them know you’ve liked hanging out with them a lot more, that you find yourself smiling when you think of them, or that you’ve sensed some chemistry that you’d like to test out. If the chemistry is there, then the conversation should just start to flow. And even if your feelings aren’t reciprocated, don’t worry about it. At least you know now.
6. Go forth accordingly.
The conversation with your crush probably went one of two ways; either their feelings are the same as yours or they are not. If they feel the same way great! You and your crush can work on becoming more and you can talk about where you want to go next with this new information. Start seeing each other more and in a more romantic way to see if you want to work towards becoming exclusive. If the conversation went in the direction you didn’t want it to don’t sweat it. Just be grateful they were honest with you and that you had the courage to say what you needed to say. Now that you know how they feel you can move on to finding someone who will have those feelings for you. But don’t stray too far because they might develop feelings for you at a different time.
7. Try not to take it personally
It’s hard enough telling your crush that you have feelings for them but it’s even harder when they don’t feel the same way. You might feel a little hurt at the beginning, but just remember that there is someone out there who is going to feel about you in that way. This crush just wasn’t that one. It better that you’ve aired out your feelings instead of just pining for this crush without them ever knowing. It’s better that you aren’t stuck in this place of not knowing because now you can move on and find that one who is the right one for you.
8. Don’t tell others until you’ve told your crush.
I know you may want to reach out to your friends and family for advice on telling your crush how you feel, but this might not be the best route to take. You don’t want to be swayed or influenced by anyone once you’ve decided that you are ready to share your feelings. And people who don’t want to see you get hurt might even try to convince you that saying anything at all is a bad idea. You also don’t want anyone spilling the beans before you’ve gotten the chance to. You are the best judge of what you should say to your crush, how you want to say it, and when you’re going to say it so try to stay away from any outside persuasion if you can.
9. Feel it out.
Before you go making any kind of declarations you might regret, feel out the situation and see where you stand the next time you hang out with your crush. Drop some subtle hints and see how they react, maybe even flirt a little to see what sort of reaction your get from them. Do they flirt back? Is it easy for them to tell you what they like about you when you ask? Things like this will give you a vibe of what they might be feeling before you dive headfirst into the big conversation.
10. Be careful about memorizing a script.
It’s okay to practice what you want to say to your crush during this big moment, but try not to memorize and recite a script. It’ll make it seem unauthentic and like you are being forced to make this confession. You don’t want to sound robotic and like you have no actual emotions regarding the matter. Showing your nerves is okay and shows your crush that you are a person who gets nervous. They might even find it cute that you get so nervous when it comes to telling them how you feel. Authenticity and honesty are key when it comes to this conversation and hopefully, if there is a real spark between the two of you then it’ll just start flowing in a comfortable and relaxed way.