If you are asking are we moving too fast, then most likely you are. But it doesn’t always have to be a bad thing.
You can know someone for 2 weeks and have a better relationship than with someone you were with for 2 years. Time is not a major factor in a relationship, your intentions for each other are.
So if you’ve been caught up in a whirlwind romance, enjoy it, but just make sure the pace is right for the both of you. These warning signs below will help in making sure you’re both comfortable with where the relationship is, and whether you should consider taking the pace down a notch.
1. What do you really know about them?
Can you trust him?
You’re spending all this time with your new partner, but what do you really know about them? They could be a sociopath for all you know. You’re probably moving too fast if you’ve spent all this time together, but you have no knowledge of them to show for it. So change it.
Get to know each other some more, ask more questions that get a deeper response. Not just if he has any siblings, but what are their goals and aspirations in life? What do they consider to be the most important attribute in a relationship, do they value loyalty or honesty more for example?
Questions will help get you closer. You may feel like this adds to your relationship moving too fast, however, it helps you more. You need to know about the person you’re spending all this time with.
If you’re getting swept up in the romance, the last thing you want is in a months time, after you’ve developed feelings for them, to find out they put mayonnaise on their Chinese food. That should be stuff you find out at the beginning and run away from. Don’t go wasting your time on monsters like those.
2. Only physical
New relationships are great, you don’t want to leave the bedroom. But when you’re taking a break, what then? Do you talk? Or just lay in silence waiting for each other to recover to go again?
If you’ve fell in love at this stage, you aren’t in love with them. You’ve fallen in love with sex, with the touch and feeling of being loved. You are moving too fast, or at least you are catching feelings too quick.
You need to see if you have that same connection outside of the bedroom. Can you talk for hours on end? Can you make each other laugh? Could you consider them a friend?
Keep that passion in your relationship, it’s an amazing part to it. But if you want to keep moving forward in your relationship you need to build a bond stronger than sex.
If you are as strong out of the bedroom as you are in it, then you’ve got the dream relationship.
3. Have you seen them angry yet?
Not the most fun point to think about, and certainly not a fun time to go through in a relationship. But it is really important. You need to see how they behave when they’re angry, are they still gentle or do they start insulting you?
To see them angry demonstrates whether you could handle the bad times together or if they’d push you further apart. To know whether you have a stable relationship or not.
If they shout and scream, leaving you scared, you are always going to be scared. You won’t be able to reach out in fear of their reaction, and that would be a very lonely relationship.
Before going further, to confess undying love for them, see if you could handle the bad times together? If, after seeing them at their worst, you know you still love and care for them, then you are less likely to be moving too fast. Rather you have found someone you could support no matter what.
4. Where have your friends gone?
A big sign you are moving too fast is if you are avoiding your friends. You are spending so much time with your new partner that your friends have been put on the back burner.
But. more importantly, you have been put on the back burner. When was the last time you had any you time? Any personal space? You need to spend time away from your partner as much as you spend time with them.
I know it’s difficult, you want to see them as much as possible, but to make sure you aren’t moving too fast you need to make sure you have your own space. As well as they have their space.
Co-dependency is a big issue in relationships, you can;t go anywhere without each other.
If you want to know if you’re moving too fast, spend some time away from them. Catch up with friends, do your own thing. Have ‘me’ time.
If you are still happy, and want to see them then you are in a healthy relationship and you don’t need to worry about moving too fast. You are merely spending time together because you want to.
5. Meeting the family
This could be either way. You could be moving too fast if you’ve met their parents on the second date, or you could be moving too fast if you have never met their parents because they are keeping you hidden away.
This depends on your judgement.
If you haven’t met the parents, are they hiding you away because they don’t see the relationship as that important or likely to continue. In which case, unfortunately, you have been moving too fast as you’ve let your feelings carry you away.
However, if you’ve met the parents straight away then it screams warning, because no one introduces you so soon. But it could be the flip of the previous point, they could be extremely proud of you and see it going somewhere, and the opinion of their family and friends is important to them.
Or, perhaps they are a mommas boy, and require approval to date you, so you better try to impress them.
This is why this point requires your judgement. You know your relationship, you know what is dodgy behaviour and what is good. If you see a problem in how it has progressed between the two of you regarding introductions between friends and family then act on that gut feeling.
But if you are both comfortable with how it is then there shouldn’t be an issue, everything happens in good time and for good reason. Have some faith.
6. Is it a rebound?
Lastly, and probably the most obvious warning sign: are you a rebound? Or is he a rebound?
If you’ve just got out of a serious relationship, and you have jumped back into another one, then the pace you are going is more worrying.
To already be saying you love someone else after only just breaking up with someone 2 weeks ago, screams you are moving too fast. If you’re spending all your time with him, its more likely you are filling a gap, finding a replacement for the loneliness you are left with.
In this case, be careful. Keep your head on straight and think if you love him and want to be with him, or you just want to be with someone to replace your ex.
If you can go through this list and know they aren’t an issue for you, then you may be moving fast, faster than an average relationship, but there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with this. A whirlwind romance can be good.