Durham Uni is an amazing place to be. In fact, it\u2019s THE place to be. Nestled in the north-east, our quaint university city boasts of the infamous Klute (branded the \u201cworst\u201d nightclub \u201cin Europe\u201d), the brunch haven that is Flat White (#NotSponsored\u2026unfortunately), and the 11th wonder of the world: Billy B (commonly known as the Bill Bryson Library). Being in a uni like Durham means that certain things are inevitable; such as being swallowed up by an army of puffer coats and culottes on your way to and from lectures, and begrudgingly taking up hill-walking as a new, and unwanted, lifestyle adjustment- it\u2019s tragic, I know. However, there are also certain things that will never happen to you at University of Durham:<\/p>\n
As a person from a normal city, I find this very bizarre. I\u2019m not sure if roadmen do exist and they\u2019re just hiding from all the tweed, signet rings and coloured chinos certain posh mandem seem to adorn, or whether, like McDonalds and KFC, they just don\u2019t exist anywhere near campus. Either way, the only caps and tracksuits you\u2019ll be seeing are the ones owned by those whose Mummy\u2019s and Daddy\u2019s paid extortionate amounts of money to send them to the top schools in the country, yet think it\u2019s \u201ccool\u201d to dress like it\u2019s 2001 and use terms like \u201csick\u201d and \u201cpeng\u201d unironically.<\/p>\n
As a Northerner living in a Northern ‘city’, I find this very bizarre. Even though Durham does have a reputation for being a country-club for Oxbridge rejects, aka every other Southerner here, one would expect there to be some sort of North\/ South diversity; you know, enough of each side for there to be a lively and banterous North vs. South debate. But alas, there is no such thing. Everyone is from the South, but what\u2019s weird is that they\u2019re either from London, some obscure village nobody has heard of, or worse: Essex. In short, if you\u2019re a Southerner, you probably feel right at home, but if you\u2019re a Northerner, you\u2019ve probably gotten used to hearing lots of elongated a\u2019s and posh, therefore lame, banter.<\/p>\n
Coming to Durham has unleashed a deep, dark passion I never knew I had- brunching. Now, don\u2019t get me wrong, I brunched in sixth form, but not to the extent that I do here at uni. Thanks to the generosity of college kitchen staff, we get treated to brunch every weekend including, but not limited to, the BEST hash-browns I have ever tasted. So, if you\u2019re a keen and\/ or frequent bruncher, count yourself lucky that Duzza has your back on that one.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Here at Durham, our student body consists of mature, responsible young-adults who can organise their time efficiently and effectively, thus, have no need to pull all-nighters. Additionally, Billy-B is not our home for the last 2 weeks of term as we tend to start our summatives\/ formatives in good time, meaning there is no end-of-term stress and\/ or subsequent meltdowns. Moreover, we do not prioritise \u201cthe sesh\u201d over our education and do not grace the floor of Jimmy\u2019s, or the beloved Missoula, until we physically cannot afford to do so. We get plenty of sleep throughout the entire term, attend all of our lectures and tutorials, and live good, healthy, and wholesome lives.<\/p>\n
*The above is a lie, subject to your naivety.<\/p>\n
Lol I\u2019m just playin. We\u2019ve all been there and have come out annoyed, close to chundering, and deeply-scarred. Sadly, it\u2019s somewhat inevitable; it\u2019s lowkey creepy, how, overall, the Durham student-body is pretty hot. It\u2019s like the whole uni is an exhibition of Barbies and Kens, with the generic Western standard of beauty- tans, six-packs and thigh gaps- in overwhelming abundance (just look at some of the college charity fashion shows). With this, of course, comes the unavoidable burden of third-wheeling when you\u2019ve lost all but one of your squad in the club, and they finally get with the hottie from the other corridor that\u2019s been grinding on them for the past 60 seconds. It\u2019s just part of the uni experience. #Tragic<\/p>\n
To illustrate my point, here are some relatable lyrics:<\/p>\n
Money, money, money,<\/p>\n
Ain\u2019t it funny<\/p>\n
In a Durham student\u2019s world<\/p>\n
Or, for those inclined to OG hip-hop:<\/p>\n
Mo money, less problems (#RIPBiggie)<\/p>\n
It\u2019s been said that we Durham students don\u2019t suffer from financial problems like the peasants at other unis. Oh no; we rely on Mummy and Daddy\u2019s trust-fund, and when that runs out after a cheeky, totally spontaneous trip to Nice, heart-felt sobs down the phone always do the trick. This is because we\u2019re all filthy rich so money simply isn\u2019t a problem. So yeah, being a Durham student automatically provides immunity for all reckless, and irresponsible financial actions, regardless of the fact that you\u2019re still a uni student who more than likely has debt the size of a Hatfield student\u2019s ego and parents who are sick and tired of being treated like walking banks. But it\u2019s whatever because issa fab lyfe, and even better aesthetic.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s well known that Durham doesn\u2019t have a very multi-cultural scene. What is well-known, however, is pretty much everyone\u2019s love for both modern, and old skool, hip-hop and R&B. As much as we all love Rihanna\u2019s \u2018Work\u2019, Drake\u2019s \u2018One Dance\u2019, and Usher\u2019s \u2018Yeah\u2019, hearing them every time you go out gets a tad clich\u00e9. It would be nice to hear more iconic classics like \u2018You Can Do It\u2019 (Ice-Cube), \u2018Jumpin, Jumpin\u2019 (Destiny\u2019s Child), \u2018Bossy\u2019 (Kelis), and the risqu\u00e9, but always lit,\u2018Thong Song\u2019 (Sisqo). It\u2019d be nice to go out and actually dance as opposed to simply swaying side-to-side or, and this genuinely disgusts me, jump- the club isn\u2019t a zumba class; keep yo damn feet, and body, on the floor. Anyhoo, according to many a DJ, the students of Durham can\u2019t get down to such music, but I\u2019ve seen people slut drop to \u201cShut Up and Dance\u201d, so if ya\u2019ll can get down to that, you can definitely drop it like it\u2019s hot to a lil bit of Ashanti and Ja Rule. However, this will probably never happen and I\u2019ll continue to be the laughing stock of all my friends at normal unis. It\u2019s no biggie (pun intended).<\/p>\n
A) The four people in your entire college don’t count<\/p>\n
B) Neither does the one on your course<\/p>\n
But that’s none of my bidness…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I was once a fan of potatoes- fried, roasted, or mashed, I loved them all (as with any, and every, carb). However, upon coming to Durham and becoming subject to potato-based meals all day, erryday, that is no longer my reality. I\u2019m sure many of you empathise with this and, as pitiful as it is, potatoes will just never be the same for us. At least we have McDonalds\u2019 fries to make things better\u2026<\/p>\n
Oh wait\u2026<\/p>\n
#StopTryingToMakePotatoesHappen2k17<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s not kid ourselves; hating Hatfield is a tradition almost as old as time itself (with Castle in second place). I mean, how else would we feel towards a college that has the highest intake of Dave C wannabees, SORRY, private school kids, out of all of the colleges? Regardless of our lowkey coveting of the fact that we\u2019re not part of their elitist old boys and future Theresa May\u2019s club, do we know the real reason that there\u2019s a universal hate for Hatfield? No. Are there some decent humans amongst these people? Probs. Are we ever going to stop loathing them despite this? No. To all the colleges that are not Hatfield: this is actually quite fun. Maybe someone can organise a \u2018Make Durham Great Again\u2019 rally and suggest how we can build some sort of structure that will separate us from them? Just a thought. To Hatfield: you guys are probably too busy playing croquet and planning on how to compete with the Bullingdon Club to care about our contempt for you, but just know that beneath all of this passive aggressive banter and faux-hatred, you still can\u2019t sit with us. Xoxo<\/p>\n
Durham Uni is an amazing place to be. In fact, it\u2019s THE place to be. Nestled in the north-east, our quaint university city boasts of the infamous Klute (branded the \u201cworst\u201d nightclub \u201cin Europe\u201d), the brunch haven that is Flat White (#NotSponsored\u2026unfortunately), and the 11th wonder of the world: Billy B (commonly known as the Bill Bryson…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20693,"featured_media":116034,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":true},"categories":[1807,8010,1793],"tags":[7929,8011,8012,8013,8015],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-115523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life","category-school","category-uni-life","tag-campus","tag-durham","tag-durham-around-campus","tag-durham-students","tag-university-of-durham"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n