Your first love is a huge part of your life, and is a part of you growing up. Some memories may be happy and some may be sad, but them memories and experiences will always stay with you. When you first fall in love with someone, it is the first of many things that are to come. You go through a lot of things together for the first time, you grow together (in some cases you grow in different directions) and you have helped each other become the person you are today (whether you like that or not). Some people may never want to think about their first love again, or some may still hold onto something that they feel is still there. But, in the end they have taught you lessons and your first love will always be a part of you, whether you realise or not. We find ourselves questioning – do you ever truly get over your first love? We convince ourselves that we’re over it, but are we really?
1. All The Firsts
As they are your first love, you’re going to go through many more ‘firsts’ with your partner. I’m not just talking about the big and exciting things that are to come, I’m also talking about the little things. The little experiences you’re going to go through and the different feelings you’re going to feel for the first time. The mix of emotions you’re going to go through throughout your relationship; one minute you actually think you hate them, then the next you’re completely head over heels in love and you can’t stop your mind from thinking about them. The second they leave the house you find yourself missing them already. The ‘why has he not text me back, what is more important than me?’ moments. These are all small and insignificant feelings, but ones you will remember the next time you feel them for another person.
2. Teach Us Lessons
One thing about your first love that will stay with you forever, are the lessons that they taught you. As this is your first love and probably your first serious relationship, you will make mistakes, you will over react over the little things and you will find yourself handling situations in the wrong way. You’ll start arguments and you’ll go to unimaginable lengths to get your point across. But, all of this is only because you cared. And, the same will happen with your next partner, whenever that may be. But, one thing that you can take from your first love, and that will always stay with you is the lessons you’ve learnt. Next time, you’ll handle certain situations in a much different way and you’ll pick your battles a bit more wisely.
3. Know What You Want
When a relationship ends, it more often than not ends for a reason (or many). But, because of these reasons, you know that you don’t want the same things to be in your next relationship. From your first love, you know exactly what you want and what you don’t want. You know what you deserve, and you won’t settle for anything less. You’ve been through heartbreak, and you most definitely don’t want to go through it again. So, you obviously want to make sure the next one is right for you. Although you will go through more pain and hurt in your love life, for the time being anyway, it won’t come close to your first real heartbreak.
Do we compare our first loves to everyone else we meet? On some level, I think we do – whether it be good or bad. We’ll always refer back to our past experiences, as it is our own personal references we refer back to. More than likely, something is going to reoccur in your next relationship that happened in your first one. You will think back to that time and you will compare it, whether it’s for the better or for worse.
When you do feel like you want to get back out there, you want to put yourself on the market again as single, and potential bae’s come and go – you will compare. Until you find the right one for you, you will compare everything to your first love. It might take weeks, months or even years to find someone who makes you feel how your first love did. But this is normal, you aren’t going to have that connection with everyone who passes by. But you will find it again, whether you re-connect with your first love or you connect with someone new.
5. Will They Always Be A ‘What If’?
You go through a lot with your first love, and you grow as people. Sometimes you grow that much as a person, you in fact grow apart from each other. Maybe you felt they made you be, or want to be a better person, they have influenced you and helped you be who you are today (even though you might not want to admit it). They’ve been a part of your life and your journey, of course they’ve contributed to who you are now. Love and heartbreak both change people, and sometimes not so much for the better.
But, will a part of you always think what if? What if I did that differently, or dealt with a situation in a different way. To some extent, our first love will always be a what if, because why did it go wrong? Why did it end? Some of us know why it ended, and they have their closure. Maybe it was mutual? But you’ll always want the best for your first love and you’ll always care for them, even if you don’t realise it. But when you meet someone else, your next love, you’ll realise why it didn’t work out with them. It may be a ‘what if’, but what’s meant to be will be.