When you’re in a relationship, there is the risk that you and your partner can morph into one another, you are viewed as a couple and not as individuals. That is why, when you break up with someone, you might feel like a part of yourself has been lost or that you no longer recognise yourself in the mirror anymore. Being single might seem like a nightmare as you might not know how to stand on your own two feet, and you might be tempted to get into another relationship right away. Don’t. Be Strong. It is so so important and very healthy to be single for a while after a break up and here’s why it’s healthy to be single:
1. You need to rediscover yourself.
As mentioned above, in a relationship whether consciously or unconsciously, you tend to compromise a part of your identity. You adopt your partner’s lifestyle and likes and dislikes and can sometimes forget the person you were before you were in this relationship. It’s healthy to be single for a while after a break up because it allows you to find yourself again. This sounds cheesy, but it’s so important to figure out who you are as a person and to claim back your independence. Reconnect with the things (and people such as friends) that you neglected during your relationship and that are unique to you, for example this might be drawing or going for long walks around London- whatever it is that makes you tick, try to do it once a week minimum.
2. You will grow as a person.
When you’re single, you don’t need to rely on anyone else to define you, or to complete you. It’s a reason why it’s healthy to be single for a while after a break up in terms of your own personal journey in life. This time alone will allow you to become comfortable in your own skin, and to develop a new kind of love, a love that is arguably the most important in life: self-love. It is so important to be content with your own company – use this time now to do all of the things that your partner held you back from during your relationship, this might be a course to better yourself, or a personal project you have never had the time to do. There are no excuses, put yourself first. You will grow from all of your personal experiences and allow yourself to become a more experienced and rounded individual.
3. You will attract the right person when you have your confidence back.
It is vital to have some time alone and why it’s healthy to be single. The worst thing you can do is to jump into another relationship as soon as one ends. You can run the risk of appearing desperate if you start searching for a new partner right away, and the more you look for a relationship, the less likely it will be that you will find one. Don’t set a time frame for your next relationship, wait a few months or maybe even a year or more– let it happen naturally – you will find your Mr/Mrs Right when you are least expecting it. In the meantime, have a ‘dating detox’: rebuild your confidence and enjoy every opportunity that comes your way, this will make you more attractive and help you find inner peace.
4. Your next relationship will be more successful.
Similar to the point above, if you rush into another relationship as soon as one ends, this can be very toxic. You will still be caught up on your ex and will transfer your insecurities and baggage from your previous relationship into your new one. You need to work through these issues before opening yourself up to someone else. For example, if your ex cheated on you, you might be suspicious of a new partner and take your pain out on them – this is not fair for everyone involved. You also need to assess the pros and cons of why it’s healthy to be single. Think about your previous relationship and really figure out what you want in your next partner and your next relationship, and once you know, don’t settle for any less.
So there you have it, a list of four reasons why it’s healthy to be single for a while after a break up. Can you think of anymore reasons? If so, then answer in the comment section below.
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My name is Nicole Brownfield and I am 20 years old. I am studying English Literature and going into my 3rd and final year of Queen Mary University, London in September. I am currently the Editor-In-chief of my University magazine 'CUB' and my dream is to pursue a career in journalism after I graduate. I love living in London and am obsessed with sourcing out food and drink places, as well as exploring the parts of London I have never been to before. My boyfriend and I have recently turned pescatarian and this symbolises my goal to constantly keep bettering myself and to stay healthy and disciplined. Every day I try and achieve something as I want to look back and be proud of the life I have lived, and to make my family proud too.