Why Does Everything Feel Like A Competition With My Older Sibling?


Siblings are some of the best people in your life. You’ll no doubt have the best banter them. Older siblings in particular are number one. They’re the person you go to at school when someone’s picking on you, or when you need advice about a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and they play their disney CD and sing along with you as they’re driving you home – or that might be just mine. But as sometimes thing might get a little competitive, so why does everything with your older sibling seem like a competition?

1. Because A Little Competition Is Healthy

Look, most people don’t like to hear it but a competition can be good for you. Have you ever played Crash Team Racing or Mario Kart against your older sibling and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to beat them? Well that’s actually driving you to work harder and now when you’re kicking butt writing your dissertation, it’s because your older sibling drove (no pun intended) you to persevere and to be stronger. If it feels like a competition, then it probably is but that doesn’t mean it’s bad for you.

Why Does Everything Feel Like A Competition With My Older Sibling?

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2. Because You’re Probably Overthinking it

So your sibling got a new job, or they’ve got a new car or they tell a really good story about what happened at work this week. Then you feel like you have to go and do one better. Well, I hate to say it, but you might just be overthinking it. They can be proud of what they’ve achieved this week, like you allow yourself to be. Why not try being proud of them for getting a new job, or congratulate them on what happened at work? Don’t overthink they’re achievements, they’re not trying to compete with you.

3. Because They Are But Don’t Realise They’re Doing It

Your sibling might be turning yours and their life into a competition without realising. Really, it’s more that everyone likes a bit of attention now and then. Say you’ve been doing really well at university or at work, and you’ve got the chance to tell your parents, they may just be combating because they’ve also done something great and want to be appreciated also. It’s fine to want to have your parents be proud of you, so don’t take your older sibling stealing the limelight as the beginning of a competition between the two of you because here’s the thing, they don’t mean it.

Why Does Everything Feel Like A Competition With My Older Sibling?

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4. Because You’re Turning It Into One

While you may have convinced yourself that your oldest sibling is trying to be better than you, it’s you, yourself that might actually be your own worst enemy in this situation. If your sibling has some great news to announce, you account that to them wanting to show off and try to go one better then it’s you who’s trying to make a competition between your older brother or sister and yourself. Now, if you stop allowing yourself to come to that conclusion, then all the competitive feelings will stop.

5. Because They Want To Hear What You’ve Been Up To

The best way to get someone to talk about themselves, is to start talking about yourself. So, your older sibling may actually just want to find out what you’ve been up to recently. It might not be that they mean to brag about themselves, but they just want to hear about your life, your job, your relationship and that’s okay. It’s actually nice that they are taking an interest in you. Everyone has a busy life but your older sibling will always be there to help you and will always want to know what they’re kid sister (or brother) has been doing. Why not talk to them? Take an interest in them as well, and those competitive emotions will instantly melt.

Why Does Everything Feel Like A Competition With My Older Sibling?

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Do you ever feeling like you’re competing against your older sibling? Let us know in the comments.
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Ellen Coyle

I’m Elle, a 22 year old British born fashion journalist with a big interest in street style, natural health and effortless beauty.

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