Foreplay is a MUST. You cannot afford to skip it before sex, in fact sometimes I think foreplay can be better than penetration; during sex sometimes you can find yourself sticking to the same positions, but with foreplay it’s always exciting and can be spiced up in so many ways. It’s so important not to rush foreplay but to really prolong it so you are practically gagging- the more warmed up you are beforehand, the kinkier and more passionate the sex will be, which in theory should lead to a stronger and better orgasm for everyone involved (woo hoo).
At the same time, foreplay can be awful if you simply lay there and allow your partner to go down on you ‘how they think you like it’, it is important to be assertive about your needs and desires to get you properly warmed up. For example, girls, the wetter you are, the easier your partner will fit and the more enjoyable it will be for both of you. So without further ado, below is a list of a few tips for how to warm up properly before sex:
1. Don’t limit foreplay to the bedroom.
This is not what you think, I am not encouraging you to christen every room in your house, or talking about foreplay in physical terms. Instead, I am talking about foreplay in mental terms. One tip for how to warm up properly before sex is to get your and your partner’s minds focused on sex. Send a text to your partner in the morning telling them how horny you are and exactly what you want them to do to you.
Make it detailed. This is exciting and naughty, especially as it is just between the both of you. Guaranteed, you won’t be able to concentrate all day so that by the time you do see each other, every touch will be electric and you can act out the fantasies you have been imagining all day.
2. Communicate & Guide.
Another tip for how to warm up properly before sex which isn’t physical, is to tell your partner exactly what you like in terms of foreplay. Most individuals masturbate when they are alone so they know exactly what gets them going… and what doesn’t get them going. There is nothing worse than just laying there wishing your partner was stimulating you in a certain way. Tell them. They won’t be offended; they will be grateful for the help.
Or why not actually show your partner what you like, start off masturbating side by side and then allow each other to take over and continue the waves of delight. Also communicate with your partner in terms of dirty talk, whisper in your partner’s ear the words you know he likes to hear, allow him to feel your breath hot and raspy on his neck to get him turned on…
Foreplay shouldn’t just include our private parts. In order to get properly warmed up before sex, it is so important to engage every inch of each other’s bodies and to discover your partner’s most sensitive parts. Use your hands, your tongue, whatever feels right, to touch every inch of your partner sensually and seductively. The sensation of you touching them everywhere will leave them tingling all over, and desperate to have sex and feel the physical closeness of your bodies finally touching.
Another vital foreplay tip to get you properly warmed up is to tease each other. Start off by kissing your partner and biting or nibbling their lip, or breaking away just when the kissing starts to get more passionate. Next, similar to the above point, touch those parts of your partner that are particularly sensitive, for example boys: kiss or stroke the inside of your partner’s legs without going all the way to the vagina, and girls: do the same to the area around his penis.
If you want to ramp it up even further, aside from focusing on erogenous zones such as the lips, neck, nipples, earlobes, tease your partner during oral sex. Girls look up at your boyfriend as you go down on him, intense eye contact can be intimidating but also a HUGE turn on, trust me…
5. Get inventive.
Old fashioned foreplay is fun, and stimulation using body parts can get you warm enough. However, introducing the likes of sex toys, sexy lingerie, or outfits to do role play, can also ensure you’re extra prepared. If this is something you don’t think you will be entirely comfortable with, then ease your way in: handcuffs are quite innocent and the thought of keeping your partner in one place whilst you have the freedom to move wherever you want can be extremely exciting.
Or even if you are a bit clueless when it comes to foreplay, why not invest in some dice with instructions? There are such brands that tell you what part of the body to touch, how to touch that part (kissing, sucking, licking etc.), and what pressure to use…
6. Lube is always the answer.
If all else fails, then what you need to do to make sure you are properly warmed up before sex is to use lube. And lots of it. The need to use lube is not a sign that your partner can’t warm you up properly, or that something is wrong with you if you aren’t responding, it is a natural way to ensure you really are ready for sex.
Lube can also be used all over the body as an alternative massage product to body oil, and can make things really exciting due to the different options available. For example, there is flavoured lube, and lube that makes you tingle or burn pleasurable down below… The only way to find out what you like best is to try them all!
So there you have it, a list of tips for how to warm up properly before sex. Can you think of anymore tips? If so, write them in the comment section below.
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My name is Nicole Brownfield and I am 20 years old. I am studying English Literature and going into my 3rd and final year of Queen Mary University, London in September. I am currently the Editor-In-chief of my University magazine 'CUB' and my dream is to pursue a career in journalism after I graduate. I love living in London and am obsessed with sourcing out food and drink places, as well as exploring the parts of London I have never been to before. My boyfriend and I have recently turned pescatarian and this symbolises my goal to constantly keep bettering myself and to stay healthy and disciplined. Every day I try and achieve something as I want to look back and be proud of the life I have lived, and to make my family proud too.