Dating anyone can come with its own individual struggles but we learn to adapt, evolve and if all fails then we move on. Dating a gamer comes with its own challenges, mainly in the attention department. Your boyfriend could be a couple of hours into a game and in that time he hasn’t responded to any of your messages. Some days you may feel like you’re competing for your boyfriend’s attention. If you follow the 10 tips below then you can easily reach a compromise, a new level of understanding, or perhaps even discover a new-found appreciation for games.
1. Set aside time for dates
It’s important to establish a balance between “gaming time” and “dating time”. Make sure to compromise and find that balance so that neither of you feels neglected in the relationship. As much as we need time together, everyone needs some alone time to rewind, relax and gather their thoughts.
2. Respect that he needs space
Let your boyfriend have time to rewind and play a game. Everyone has a preferred way to relax, whether that’s reading a book, watching a show or listening to music. For some people, playing a video game is their way to chill. Your boyfriend may also be into co-op games and playing gives him a chance to talk and hang out with his guy friends.
3. Use that time for yourself
Your boyfriend plays video games as a hobby and to pass the time. So you should do the same and pursue something you’re interested in! If you’re dating a gamer then you know that his games can last anywhere from 30 minutes to a few long hours. Use the time he spends gaming to your advantage: read a book, practice a hobby, or watch a series that you’ve been looking forward to.
4. DM him directly when he’s MIA
If you don’t live with your boyfriend getting his attention when he’s in the middle of a game can be a real challenge. 10 messages later, you’ll get a reply that his phone battery was dead or sitting somewhere on the other side of the room. My advice to you is to download an app for whatever console, device or platform he’s gaming on. Steam, Discord, PlayStation, Xbox and more, all have messenger apps that allow you to send a message to your boyfriend when he’s in-game. If he has chat notifications on he should see it pop up on the screen.
5. Join him
Join your boyfriend and play something together. If he’s so passionate and invested in something, don’t you want to share that experience and learn more about what he loves to do? If you’re worried about being bad at it, or it not being your kind of game, don’t worry! There are so many multiplayer and MMO games on the market, it’s easy to find something that you’ll both enjoy!
6. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
If you’re worried that you’re not good at a game or that it’s too confusing, don’t be afraid to ask your boyfriend for help. He probably already knows more about it than you and I can guarantee that he’ll be happy to share his knowledge with you.
7. Bond over a game
You don’t know someone until you’ve gamed with them. How do they cope with stressful situations? Can you communicate with them? How good are you at working together? You learn SO MANY things after playing one game together. And who knows? You could come out of it having better communication than you did before.
8. Watch him game
I don’t know about you, but watching my boyfriend play is really entertaining. Watching a person game can be fun and it’s easy to get immersed in the game too. If you don’t live together then you could ask your boyfriend to start a call and stream the game so you can watch it online. Your boyfriend may also appreciate having someone watch him play, it can be the moral support he needs to get past a difficult level or much-needed encouragement for completing a game.
9. Go somewhere new
Take that interest in video games and use it to come up with new date ideas or places for you and your boyfriend to go. The two of you could hit up an arcade, find a gaming cafe or attend a nearby convention. Aim to find something that you’ll both enjoy and make new memories from.
10. Save the important stuff for later
This is perhaps the most important tip. If you have something important to say like a special date he needs to keep free; the time for a dinner reservation; or a certain errand you need him to run; save it for later. If he’s gaming then he’s probably got his head in the clouds and can only really focus on one thing – his game. Save any important reminders or requests for when he’s finished (or on a loading screen) and can give you his full, undivided attention.