5 Times We Surprisingly Related to Joe in You Netflix

Do you relate at all to the character of Joe in You Netflix? Here are 5 times I surprisingly related to his character in the scary series.

Are you as obsessed with the new series You Netflix as I am? I am literally on the edge of my seat and cannot wait for Season 2 to begin! Just a warning for anyone who hasn’t seen it or is in the middle of watching that there will be some spoilers, so please save yourself as it really is that good, and you won’t want me to ruin anything for you!

I remember seeing the first images of You Netflix and being unsure as to whether it would be a show worth watching. After watching the trailer, however, I knew it would be something very special. Although as all of us who have finished the story will know, Joe is a very complicated character. He is a psychopath, but a psychopath, unlike others that we may have experienced so far in literature or film. He appeared to be a psychopath with a heart, a genuine desire to love and love the person he was with, to the fullest.

I have to be honest and admit that I felt myself rooting for him at times! In this series, adapted from the novel by Caroline Kepnes, we were able to take a look at the real person behind the psychopath and in my opinion, there were some very real things that I discovered that I really related to! It gave us a look into the mind of an obsessed stalker, I personally learnt that it isn’t possible to always categorise someone in a black or white way. Since the series uses the technique of voice-over, we as the audience literally ARE Joe while watching the series. We are invited into his mind and are able to discover the way he thinks and the reasons for his actions. Here are 5 times we surprisingly related to Joe in You Netflix!

1. The Way Joe Stalked Beck Online To See If She Was Trustworthy

I’m sure everyone can agree that it is terrible to get hurt. In this day and age, relationships seem to be more disposable than ever and it isn’t fun to constantly get ghosted or cry to your girlfriends about yet another guy breaking your heart. Generally, guys don’t even really have the option to cry or vent to their friends, and in a way, the whole heartbreak process is a lot worse for them when they are really into a girl.

I related to how Joe wanted to do a little digging on Guinevere before he put his heart on the line. After all, what he does in the first episode by looking her up on Facebook and Instagram is something I’m sure we are all guilty of when sussing out a future date. In the end, it was Ethan’s idea to begin with, right? I do agree that he did take it way too far by actually physically stalking her and ending up in her apartment the next day by way of a faux gas leak, however. Although I definitely felt the intense stress that he must have felt whilst hiding in her shower when she returned home.

2. The Way Joe Cared For Beck And Wanted What Is Best For Her

With this situation in You Netflix, we probably have all been there at one time or another. Be it for a friend who we can see is in trouble, making the wrong decisions, a family member, or a love interest, I’m sure that we have all hoped that we could truly help our loved one get sorted out and over their hurdle. Joe takes this care he possesses to a whole new level, actually physically eliminating people in Beck’s life that he deems to be unhealthy for her. He can see that her life is spiralling out of control, and he determines that a few key people could be the cause of this. Although what he actually does is nowhere near normal, is it wrong to acknowledge that everything he does is motivated by love? It is however extremely misguided and yes, criminal.

Sadly, Joe has not discovered yet that it is impossible to try and solve other people’s problems for them as they will generally start running into new ones until they are ready to heal themselves. I could however definitely see his good intentions to begin with, and relate to wanting to be able to help the person I love in whatever way I can. Although, yes, I would definitely not take it to that extent!

3. His Heartbreak Over Candice

In the first episode, we learn that he is quite jaded due to a negative past experience with an ex-girlfriend named Candice. Although we are not made aware of the full details of their split until the end of the season You Netflix, we eventually learn that she did in fact cheat on him right under his nose, in order to further her own career. And worse yet, she didn’t even seem to feel bad about it and put the blame on him. That kind of trauma could be enough to send anyone over the edge, though that is in no way condoning his future actions. I have to admit I really felt for Joe in this moment. The pain of heartbreak, especially via cheating, is one of the worst feelings to endure, and it has been known to send any sane person into a negative spiral. Again, no excuses for what he decides to do next, however, I do feel for him and his pain on discovering this and how it can contribute to distrust in future relationships.

4. The way Joe cared for his neighbour Paco

This relationship in You Netflix really warmed my heart and furthered my already quite positive opinion on Joe. What is wrong with me! I know that in reality you aren’t supposed to side with someone who has actually murdered other people, but how often is it that you find a criminal with a heart of gold who seems to have a genuine care for those around him other than themselves? His caring nature was one of the most striking contradictions in his character. You could argue that Joe was always very conflicted and unsure and never did anything with bad intent outright. He seemed to make up things as he went along and was never sure of what his final decision would be. He was definitely not an outright cold-blooded murderer, which is why his character is even more compelling.

The relationship with Paco was one of my favourite parts of the film. I felt that Joe related to Paco and saw himself in him. The way he cared about his poor neighbour who spent most of his time outside on the apartment steps whilst his mother and her abusive boyfriend were fighting, was very endearing. I definitely admired the way he decided to do the right thing in situations that most people would probably let slide due to it being none of their business. This trait in Joe is also something you don’t see often in today’s very fast-paced society where you generally keep strangers at bay and go about your own business, especially in a major big city like New York.

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5. Joe’s Complicated Childhood

This is one of the parts of the series You Netflix that really broke my heart. Although you could already see that he appeared to be a very loving, doting and caring boyfriend; something that could be seen as unusual in this day and age of Tinder, it was interesting to learn about his past history and why he may have troubles within his character. As many of the books mentioned in the film highlight, do we brand someone a one-dimensional criminal or do we examine their past and try and understand why they might make certain choices in the future.

In You Netflix, Joe mentions some key pieces of literature including Frankenstein, a story that revolves around Dr Frankenstein. You could wonder, is Frankenstein the monster, or is the monster the Doctor who created him? The book and series pose a very interesting question as we discover that Joe actually grew up in an abusive family and was eventually taken as a young teen in by Mr Mooney, the owner of the bookshop where he currently works in. He definitely looked up to Mr Mooney as he had nowhere else to go and unfortunately was mentally and physically abused by him. He was often locked up in the bookstore cage that he eventually locks other people in. The phenomenon of the abuser becoming an abuser themselves is sadly something that is very common.

You could say that Joe could have learnt this from his carer and without realising, carries out those same things on others in the future. After all, Mr Mooney does not seem to give him good guidance on right and wrong, giving advice in the film such as “some people deserve to die”. This guidance and mental and physical abuse can be confusing for a young person who does not have many other people to relate to including a very shaky family life to begin with and it is in that way that I really feel for Joe. You Netflix challenges our sharp judgement on characters we may automatically deem evil in general, literally telling us that “you can’t judge a book by its cover”. Season 2 of You Netflix will hopefully reveal more into Joe’s childhood and relationship with Mr Mooney, but so far from what is presented, without excusing his criminal actions, I do feel for Joe and appreciate that the series has opened my eyes to not judging without thought and realising that everybody is fighting their own private battle that you may know nothing about.

What were your thoughts on the show You Netflix? Did you relate to Joe at all, or am I just bonkers? Do let me know your thoughts in the comments below.