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10 Things That Will 100 Percent Happen To You At University of Durham

10 Things That Will 100 Percent Happen To You At University of Durham

University of Durham gets predictable at times. Here are the things that are going to happen to you when you attend University of Durham. These are funny University of Durham quirks only us students will understand.

If you go to University of Durham you are immediately immersed in a world that seems to only physically stretch a maximum 25 minute walk to and from everything, and is home to students believing they are the only ones in the city. This ‘bubble’ as it were means there are a few things that will most definitely happen to you during your time here. Prepare for three years of awkward moments, eye roles and memories you’ll never forget even if you want to.

1. Sing Along To ‘Mr Brightside’ By The Killers On EVERY Night Out.

It’s University of Durham; the clubs are cheesy and ‘Mr Brightside‘ is a classic therefore it will be played. If you didn’t know the words before uni you will after approximately one week in Durham. Also you won’t really just sing along, you will scream it at the top of your voice.

2. Not Having Any Toilet Paper in Jimmy Allen’s.

The girl’s toilet in Jimmy’s always runs out of paper. Every. Single. Time. You’ll also probably actually fall off the toilet and not just because being in Jimmy’s requires being extremely intoxicated, but because either a) there is no toilet seat or b) the toilet seat is broken. It’s all part of the fun.


3. Run Into Your One Night Stand.

Remember that bubble I was talking about? Yeah.. It can get pretty awkward. The bubble means that University of Durham is really small and thus you will bump into that guy or gal from WiffWaff whose house you ended up at and had to do the walk of shame from Nevilles Cross from the next morning. Do you scurry past, pretend you haven’t seen them or do you wave?  HELP.

4. Meet People Who 100% Fit Their College Stereotypes.

Stereotypes have to originate from somewhere, right? Right. You will definitely meet someone really mean from Hatfield who has a signet ring and maybe owns an estate. You will also meet someone from Trevs who is just a bit weird, especially if they purposely applied to that hexagonal monstrosity. And you will also meet a proper keeno from Mary’s who is friendly, over- enthusiastic about college and tries really hard even though they aren’t that great at anything (guilty as charged).

5. Upgrade Your Student Overdraft From £200 to £2000.

You might think you you are good at budgeting when you start uni, but you’re not, and so desperate times call for desperate measures. And remember your actual balance doesn’t really count, its your AVAILABLE BALANCE which is the important one, happy days.


6. Try To Get A Ticket For The Champagne Ball or The Fashion Show and Fail Miserably.

The highlights of every Durham student’s social calendar, or so you’re told… After the scandal and shenanigans surrounding the Champagne Ball, and the social media hype and fitties surrounding DUCFS these things sell out so quickly you’d think that Beyonce was performing at them. By all means try and get a ticket, but remember you have approximately 5 seconds to do so and really, at the end of the day it’s not what you know it’s who you know. So maybe try and butter up the exec? Good luck.

7. Feel Edgy AF If You Go to General Gyros.

Let it be known that feeling edgy if you go to Gyros is different to actually being edgy; don’t be fooled by athletically pleasing pictures of wide eyed students in over sized jackets. In reality going means that you are probably just a little bit sick of dancing to a remix of the Lion King and to keep yourself sane are pretending there is a slight rave scene at Durham.  You can’t help getting on a bit of a high horse though knowing that your music taste is better than your friends who decided to go to Klute instead.

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8. Pay A Ridiculous Amount For Mediocre Accommodation.

It’s fairly well known that halls are a rip off and that landlords are bastards but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier when the direct debit comes out of your student account. Hooray to single glazing and mouldy ceilings. College prices have risen so much there is even a campaign at the SU!>> Is £9000 for tuition not enough?! *cries into Tesco value chocolate while checking bank account*

9. Fail To Get a Seat At The Billy B.

If you are brave enough to enter the intimidating monster that is the Billy B then you better be there at 6 in the morning or 11 at night otherwise your hopes of finding a seat are slim. It’s a stressful experience trying to find a seat and if you’re anything like me you will panic after about 5 minutes and abort mission… How important is that essay really? You resent every empty place that you walk past that’s got a pencil case a pile of books on it without a person there and you most definitely hate hardworking freshers. IT’S A FORMATIVE YEAR.

10. Go to The Swan After Exams.

Is there a ever better way to celebrate than cheap drinks and a pub garden? After exams The Swan is heaving and is recognised by all for the true gem it is. At £2.30 for a Taddys and good vibes is it any wonder we end up sloshed and ready for a boogie? At which point a weird night it Fab’s does the job.  If you honestly stay for one or two, I applaud you.


Other thing’s you’ll do include eating out of saucepans when there are no clean plates and leaving essay’s until the deadline day but that’s all part of the fun. We wouldn’t have it any other way at University of Durham.

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