No matter where you end up, first year will always be an emotional roller-coaster. At UoB, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll definitely make it onto the flat chunder chart and hopefully after all that you’ll make it to second year. I’m not promising nuggets of wisdom, it’s more like an ominous list, but here’s 20 things you’ll inevitably learn during your first year at The University of Birmingham!
1. You can get 35% off Domino’s Pizza if you use the Student Beans app.
2. You absolutely need a Joe’s card in your life for post-Fab/Broad Street nights’ out.
3. You’ll have to take out an additional loan if you want to eat cheese regularly.
4. You need PayPal to top up your Circuit laundry card (there is literally no way of getting around this) ~fun adult life~.
5. You can’t fight the fire alarms. Just accept that this is your life now.
6. You will inevitably loot public places like the Guild for toilet roll.
7. Mason parties are the worst unless you know someone willing to let you use their loo; it’s not what you know, it’s who.
8. Fab N Fresh is the equivalent of a crowd shouting ‘shame.’
9. You will be shamed if you order an Ocado delivery… I’m looking at you, Mason Wankers.
10. OMCO & Drinks to Go are bae but if all else fails…
11. You will sell your soul and half your student loan for a Fab ticket if you leave it late enough/drink enough.
12. You will become fiercely loyal towards your halls…
Love you Gashcroft xo
13. No one cares if you take a picture with the Bullring Bull.
14. The old Joe superstition should be respected.
15. Don’t take Birmingham for granted; we have a gorgeous campus and the city is on a whole other level.
16. The sheer panic that comes with swiping your card to get into the library as a queue forms behind you never goes away.
17. Forget everything you know about friendship, Panopto is the only constant in your life now.
18. You better relish only having noisy flatmates to moan about while you can because the burglar alarms in Selly will be your background noise for the rest of your degree.
19. The Vale is actually a top place to walk off a hangover.
20. Avoid using the free Pasante condoms at all costs unless you’re putting them on door handles or posting them through letterboxes.
So there we go, some insight into being a first year at The University of Birmingham. Do with this information what you will…