It’s 2019. ‘Gentleman’ is a word we tend to forget. This doesn’t mean gentlemanly behaviour isn’t any less important. There are signs to determine whether your boyfriend is a gentleman or not. I’m not saying boyfriends have to open the door for you, pay for every date and make you mixed tapes every weekend. But if you like the sound of any of these things that’s absolutely fine! We should always be an equal, unique and important partner in our relationships (no questions asked). These aren’t just signs your boyfriend is a gentleman, they’re also signs you’re receiving the respect you deserve. Sounds like fun doesn’t it? Don’t worry, it will be. So, here are 10 signs your boyfriend is a gentleman. I’m sure he’s ace (another word we’ve forgotten. For good reason.)
A gentleman will never leave you guessing. If they like you, want to be in your company and would like to get to know you, then the’ll ask you out. But what if they’re just shy, you ask. Even a shy gentleman will initiate a time to spend together. It’s plain and simple. He will not have an excuse up his sleeve, including a change of mind. No no, a gentleman is way better than that.
2. He knows what he wants
You know you’re dating a gentleman when he is clear about what he wants. This regards the type of person he prefers to date and how he sees the relationship. This is not to be mistaken as a dictating, selfish person. Your boyfriend is a gentleman when he’s not confused or confusable. A boyfriend who knows himself and what he likes in a relationship is going to be inclusive, open and warm. These are key qualities of a gentleman.
A gentleman (or a decent human being) is a good listener. Communication in a relationship is vital, and a courteous boyfriend will be talkative but also able to wait his turn. This is the polite action of listening. Hover, a good listener will show their investment to your words. They’ll ask questions and remind you of things you’ve said later. Your boyfriend is a gentleman when he is actively absorbing your words with genuine interest.
4. What he says equals what he does
A gentleman will be sincere, and will demonstrate this through his actions. You don’t have to put up with a boyfriend who does the opposite of what he says. This shows integrity. Gentleman honour their words with the proof in their gestures. If your boyfriend says he wants to take you somewhere, he’ll take you there. If he says he enjoys the company of your friends, he’ll suggest your friends come along.
Open and honesty. The fundamentals of any relationship. It’s easy for partners to start from these core qualities. Your boyfriend is a gentleman when he is completely honest with you. A relationship will last longer if honesty is present through a hard time. Whatever circumstances you and your boyfriend are enduring, as small as a busy work period or planning a holiday, you’ll know your boyfriend is courteous when he communicates concerns, thoughts and mistakes with the intention of making you happy and comfortable. Not the other way around.
6. Family guy
A big one. If your parents like him, that’s great. But if your boyfriend makes little effort to get to know your parents, or at least get along, then he’s far, far from a gentleman. This is so important. Your parents are where you come from. They are a big part of you and therefore, a gentleman will wholeheartedly respect and value your parents. This means spending time with your parents because they genuinely enjoy their company.
7. Ships your friendships
Similarly, a gentleman will make the effort to get to know your friends. I mean, you and your partner should ideally get along with each other’s friends. You have things in common with your partner and therefore they should technically have things in common with your friends. However, your boyfriend is a gentleman if he is positive and encouraging about your friendships. There is room for absolutely everyone, and a gentleman knows this. He won’t even know that he knows. He’ll only see the happiness your friends bring into your life, and leave it at that.
8. You’re in his future
Does he speak about the future? Are you in it? A gentleman will always involve you in his life. Both in the present and the future. It doesn’t have to be marriage or babies. But if he speaks about the next summer holidays or an upcoming family event, does he mention you? Even if it’s asking what your plans are. This shows consideration, and a gentleman will always be considerate.
9. You and only you
Here’s an obvious one, but it’s something so many non-gentleman get wrong. You’re the only girl. There is no one else. There’s no one else who he places more value on. A gentleman does not cheat. It won’t even cross his mind.
10. Makes the time
A gentleman doesn’t divide his time according to worth. He doesn’t place any of his time above yours. His job or hobbies or study are no more important than yours and he won’t even consider otherwise. He’s generous with his time and consistently factors you into his life. If you feel as though he doesn’t, then he’s not a gentleman.