You remember when it was 2 for £5, but times change and inflation ruins everything. This wine may be cheap and may taste like petrol but it’s how a true Fallowfield night both begins and ends. These are some of the signs you go to University of Manchester.
2. You’re Surprised When Someone Suggests An Uber Over A Bus
Why would you get an Uber when you have a bus pass? And why would you not have a bus pass? If you’re a student in Manchester without a bus pass then you’re either doing something wrong or you’re living in Victoria Park and that’s wrong in itself.
3. Your Going Out Shoes Are Trainers
Heels who? You’ve got used to the laid back vibes that Manchester’s night life offers and couldn’t possibly consider going back to your home towns tradition of heels and a fancy dress on a night out.
4. You’ve Perfected Your Oasis Swagger
R Kid! You’ve perfected how to walk like with that famed Oasis swagger so you can impress your mates with your spot on impression of Liam Gallagher. This is another one of the signs you go to University of Manchester.
5. You’re Covered Head To Toe In Tommy Hilfiger
It’s all vintage of course. You got it from Depop, eBay, or from Cow Vintage in the Northern Quarter. Your jacket and jeans combo is only acceptable because it’s Hilfiger. If anyone else tried to mis-match non-Hilfiger demin it is totally unacceptable.
6. You Refer To University Place As The Tin Can
University Place is never called University place. But to honest if the university is going to build a giant tin can, then we’re going name it as such. Sometimes it’s called the Tin of Tuna, sometimes it’s Mackrel – but it’s never University Place.
7. You’ve Never Got A Computer In Ali G
Somehow there is always someone with a laptop in front of every computer. When you do spy a computer, there is usually a bag or a coat ‘saving’ it. Guess it’s time for the pub when this happens! This is another one of the signs you go to University of Manchester.
8. You’re Miniature Kanken Bag Doesn’t Actually Fit Your Books in
It’s style over substance in Manchester and choosing a stylish Kanken bag definitely beats out actually bringing paper or pens to a class. Because you can actually afford a full sized one?
9. You Have Antwerp Shoes
You once wore a nice pair of shoes to Antwerp. You learnt from your mistake. Now you have designated Antwerp shoes.
10. Despite Living In Manchester You’re Always Surprised When It Rains
Like, water falling from the sky? Why is this happening? And why is it happening everyday? You never have your rain cost or umbrella dna eventually come to terms with the fact that you are now half human, half rain.
11. You’ve Had A Sick Time On The Drunk Bus Into Town
The drunk magic bus is one of the best parts of a night out. There are sing alongs, there are dares and there is laughter. The bus on the way home is a completely different, depressing story.
12. You’ve Had A Hangover Maccies Delivered To Your Door
McDonalds being on Uber Eats is the best marketing they could have ever had. They will deliver it from the Fallowfield McDonalds to your door in under 15 minutes. It’s heaven on earth. This is another one of the signs you go to University of Manchester.
13. You Probably Own A Wall Tapestry
It’s probably tie dye, and you probably bought it thinking it would be all hip and trippy in your cool student house. Don’t worry, our house has five.
14. You’ve Probably Spent More Time In Fallowfield Sainsbury’s Than In Uni
Fallowfield’s Sainsbury’s is more like a second home to you. You know exactly where the super noodles are and where your favourite cider is kept. You know what medicine they sell and what medicine they don’t sell. You will have wished to move into Sainsbury’s at least once.
15. You Come Back After A Holiday And There Is Still Washing Up
How is there still washing up? Everyone left? Where did that plate and mug come from? This is another one of the signs you go to University of Manchester.
16. Your Depop Account Is More Active Than Facebook
Depop is your lifeline in Fallowfield, you need to be ahead of the fashion trends. You were wearing Animal Print at Parklife – long before it became such a big deal.
17. A Night Out Isn’t A Night Out Without Glitter
Step 1: Fill your sick with glitter. Step 2: Put your face in it. Step 3: Go out.
18. Your Exam Period Is Spent Planning Your Parklife Outfits
Parklife is a fashion show with added music. Your outfits were probably decided before you even bought a ticket. You knew exactly which sparkles you wanted to wear and what shade of glitter would compliment your festival hair.
19. Your Bank Account Is Inventively In The Overdraft
This is true for every student. It’s highly depressing, but it is the reality of living on your own and being given a huge wad of cash and a £1,500 overdraft. Go nuts! This is another one of the signs you go to University of Manchester.
20. Despite What People Say, 90s At Fifth Is The One.
Fifth was once ranked the worst club in the country. But 90s night is an exception. You will venture over the sticky floor for the 90p shots and 90p vodka mixers. You’re skint but you still needed the party.