Relationships are not easy. They take hard work, commitment, compromises and love. You would think that if one of these elements goes missing, you would notice, but sometimes it doesn’t happen. It is not easy to understand when your relationship turns into an abusive relationship. Most people tend to think that abusing relationships are only related to acts of physical violence that result in injuries. However, in abusive relationships emotional abuse plays a big part. You do not need a black eye in order to call your relationship abusive. Emotional abuse is more subtle than physical abuse because it aims to undermine the person’s sense of self-worth.
Spotting tactics of an abusing relationship is crucial.
Control is the main trademark of an abusing relationship. Usually it starts with your partner wanting to know where you are, who you are talking too, where you spend your money etc. During the course of the relationship, a typical abusing partner would prevent you from seeing your friends or family. This would evolve into something bigger, like financial control, stopping you from going to work or even see a doctor.
2. Psychological Abuse
Emotional and psychological abuse can include insults or comments specifically aimed at putting you down. What your abusing partner is trying to do, is make you completely dependent on him. During an argument, the abusing partner will use words to stab your self-esteem and enforce his control. This can mature to intentional public humiliation in front of your friends, calling you degrading names like ‘stupid’, ‘worthless’ or ‘fat’.
If during a fight your partner hits you or pushes you, open the door and run away.
To all the women reading this, please remember that if your partner (man or woman) hits you once, it will happen again. Do not try to justify because you are a victim of an abusing relationship and it was not your fault, it will never be your fault.
4. You are scared of him
Threats are part of the tactics of an abusive partner. By doing this, your partner is trying to gain control over you by putting you in a powerless position. During an abusing relationship your partner might threaten to harm you, your loved ones, your pets or your belongings. This behaviour usually evolves into violence.
Jealousy is part of every relationship, and it does not turn a normal relationship into an abusive relationship. But, if your partner is over jealous, demanding passwords to personal accounts, like your phone or social media, then you will need to worry. Intense jealousy can be dangerous. Your partner can accuse you of cheating or being disloyal out of nowhere. During an abusive relationship, your partner can also show intense jealousy by constantly calling and texting when you are not around.
6. Put Downs
These are another form of emotional abuse that your partner will use in an abusing relationship. They will compare you to other people, mostly physically, belittling your self-esteem. Also, your abusing partner will blame you for all the problems in your relationship, and for the violent outbursts. Their goal is to make you feel as no one else will want you except them.
This is another tactic used in an abusing relationship. It is a type of emotional abuse when your partner makes you question your mental sanity or perception of reality. This often happens after a violent argument when they either hit you or destroyed your belongings.