Finally! An article on my area of expertise. Being a teen grandmother is a fine art and many of my friends reading this will be chuckling away at the following 10 things that I do every day as a self- proclaimed teen grandmother! For anyone who does not know what a ‘teen grandmother’ is, it is essentially someone young who does things that are typically associated with an older generation.
My teen grandmother-hood became apparent to my flatmates after about 3 days. I did two nights of partying and then was wiped out by the 3rd day, I wanted to stay in, tidy my room and watch some Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Now, this doesn’t mean you can’t party or that you don’t ever but you’d just rather be tucked up in bed by 10pm rather than just leaving for a night out. And mismatched pyjamas are all that your wardrobe consists of.
You find genuine satisfaction in removing a stain or cleaning the kitchen. You get a weird sense of pride about having things in a certain order and you love the praise you receive when you’ve done a great job. Your room is immaculate and you definitely have a system in your wardrobe.
Many of my flatmate’s clothes have been saved by your grandmotherly powers. You are well versed in the art of stain removal and just general life hacks that people haven’t usually picked up until well into their 30’s. You are the one they come to, to check if their chickens cooked or if they’ve written an email correctly.
Your drunken housemates and friends return from a night out, feeling and looking pretty merry. You, of course, wait up for them to come home. Book them taxis where necessary and remove the makeup before putting your honourary grandchildren to bed.
No matter the occasion- birthdays, anniversaries, completed assignments or just a lousy Thursday – you provide the baked treats to celebrate, console and chow down on. And they are great.
You definitely have a diary in which you write down all the important days and dates you need to remember. You live by it and you never miss a thing. You are uber organised and you help others to be too. You probably meal plan and budget too.
If you are in trouble with your grandmother, you must have really messed up. As teen grandmothers, you are renowned for saying your piece in a way that is stern but fair. People value your opinion because you are ‘old’ and therefore wise.
Most people in their teens will drink cider, vodka coke or something else that is cheap but you have finer tastes. You’ll drink gin of all varieties and you know how to match tonics to gin. And if gin is not an option (for whatever unfortunate reason) then a dry white wine will do.
Whether its a night out or just a trip somewhere new, you are google maps. You lead the way because you can be trusted by your friends to get them wherever you are going. Especially on a night out, you get your friends safely to the club and safely back home again.
You like to save money wherever you can and shopping trips are no exception. You are already spending a sensible amount on food, you don’t want to spend any more on carrier bags so you always remember your bags for life and spare carrier bags.
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