No relationship is perfect. Social media can be very deceptive and pictures posted on Instagram or Facebook only tell half the story. They are a snapshot, frozen in time and not a realistic depiction of a relationship; for all you know, the couple adoringly staring into one another’s eyes could have broke out into an explosive row five minutes after they were photographed. This is why I find hashtags such as ‘couple goals’ or ‘relationship goals’ extremely disturbing; when images are captioned with this, or even worse: when people caption their own images with said hashtags, it creates unrealistic expectations of what all couples should aspire to in a relationship. Therefore, whilst I acknowledge that no two relationships are the same, the purpose of this article is to list 10 healthy and normal relationship goals that all couples should aspire to.
1. Being able to talk about exes
I know talk of ‘exes’ is somewhat of a taboo in new relationships, but to play devil’s advocate, I want to suggest that being able to mention exes with a new partner is a relationship goal all couples should aim for. My current boyfriend was in a long term relationship before me and I am not bothered in the slightest if he mentions his ex. It is natural to mention your ex in conversation from time to time, especially if you were in a long term relationship with them, as they were still a part of your life whether things ended negatively or positively. It is emotionally and psychologically unhealthy to repress a part of your life and act like it never happened. An ‘ex’ is not a problem, being able to talk about them is a sign of maturity, that you are willing to embrace the future, and that you are not insecure in your current relationship.
2. To get on with each other’s families (and friends)
Family is so important, more often than not, they are the people that are there for you throughout your life, they sit alongside you on your personal roller-coaster of highs and lows. Therefore, one of the relationship goals all couples should aim for is to be able to get on with each other’s families. It is important not to see your partner’s family as a threat or a rival for your partner’s affections and love. If you get on with your partner’s family, the relationship is more likely to last longer and in the process, you gain the gift of a new family yourself.
3. Not having to have sex every night
When you first get in a relationship with someone, it is natural to be at it all the time. The initial stage of a relationship is naturally more physical and lustful but over time a deeper and emotional connection is formed and couples should realise that sex is not everything in a relationship. The real beauty is being able to cuddle or talk all night as opposed to ripping each other’s clothes off as soon as you set eyes on each other. Not necessarily having sex every night also makes it more special when you do – this is a couple goal all relationships should aim for.
4. Not posting on social media 24/7
I realised I can count with my fingers the amount of photographs I have with my current boyfriend and instead of being alarmed by this, I took it as a positive. One of the most ultimate couple goals is not having to post on social media every time you are with your partner. Just enjoy the time you spend with your partner, be content that you are together, no one else is in the relationship with you, so make yourselves a priority rather than your phone and your 500 Insta followers!
5. Doing stuff the other person likes even if you don’t enjoy it
Relationships require sacrifice and selflessness. Naturally you and your partner will not agree on everything nor will you be similar in every respect- quite frankly this would just be weird. One relationship goal all couples should aim for is to be able to do stuff for their partner not because they want to, but because they know it will make their partner happy. Whether this might mean being dragged around a shopping centre for hours or trying to get to grips with a PlayStation, think of the reason WHY you are doing it.
6. Being honest about your bank balance
Money can be the elephant in a room in a relationship. I know certain girls (not me personally, as a feminist I believe in equality and paying my own way) expect their boyfriends to pay for everything and to be spoiled rotten every month. But this is unrealistic and there is too much pressure put on one partner to provide. The best thing in a relationship is being able to say to your partner how broke you are and then to find activities to do together that won’t bankrupt you, even if these means living off of beans on toast for the next month! Another one of our relationship goals linked to this is to get to the point where you don’t have to spend money to have fun, why not make your own lunch at home and go have a picnic, or go for a walk in the park? Who cares as long as you are together?
7. Being in the same room but doing different things
Sometimes it is just enough to be in the same room as your partner and to be in their company. You don’t need to talk or to be doing the same thing. You are both individuals in your own right with your own stuff to do – you should be able to stand out alone and compliment each other.
8. Being able to tell each other anything
There is no such thing as oversharing in a relationship. You should never be worried or embarrassed to tell your partner something for fear they will judge you or view you differently. One of the best feelings in the world is being able to tell your partner anything and everything, no matter how insignificant and know that they will listen and have your back no matter what. This is one of the ultimate relationship goals all couples should aspire to.
9. You challenge each other
Another one of our relationship goals is that all couples should aim for is to push each other to be the best version of themselves that they can be. When your partner is low in confidence, or doesn’t think they can do something, give them the boost they need. There is nothing better than knowing someone else believes in you even if you find it hard to believe in yourself.
10. Being able to spend time apart
It is important to have a life outside of your partner and to see other people such as friends, colleagues and family. If you spend too much time together you will more than likely go insane. A little time apart also reduces the risk of bickering and petty arguments as you won’t step on each other’s toes as often, and you will appreciate the time you do get to spend together even more.
So there you have it, a (non-exhaustive) list of relationship goals that all couples should aim for. If you can think of anymore, then write them in the comments section that follows this article.
Featured image: www.weheartit.com
My name is Nicole Brownfield and I am 20 years old. I am studying English Literature and going into my 3rd and final year of Queen Mary University, London in September. I am currently the Editor-In-chief of my University magazine 'CUB' and my dream is to pursue a career in journalism after I graduate. I love living in London and am obsessed with sourcing out food and drink places, as well as exploring the parts of London I have never been to before. My boyfriend and I have recently turned pescatarian and this symbolises my goal to constantly keep bettering myself and to stay healthy and disciplined. Every day I try and achieve something as I want to look back and be proud of the life I have lived, and to make my family proud too.