It’s daunting and feels weird. Us girls aren’t used to this kind of responsibility, but maybe it’s time we step up to the challenge. Sometimes, it’s best to not leave these things to fate, so here’s 10 Reasons You Should Ask Him Out. (scary, I know). I went around and asked some elite singles what they thought it meant to psyche yourself up and ask the big question.
1) “You making the first move means he doesn’t like you”. (or does it?)
Definitely not. From what I’ve seen and experienced, no one (and I mean NO ONE) likes to make the first move. It’s terrifying, often embarrassing and awkward. But someone has to do it. He might be shy (and thinking exactly what you are) praying you’ll step up to the challenge. Annoying I know. But don’t wait around for him to pluck up the courage.
2) “If I ask him out he’ll think I’m less feminine”. (huh?)
I’ve heard this A LOT and it’s crazy. Why can’t women ask men out? Is it some unwritten rule? Is it considered wrong? Often men appreciate the gesture and actually think more of you when you’re not afraid to just ask. It doesn’t make you seem ‘manly’, who told us this??
(Disclaimer: I’ve been guilty here too, I can’t deny it, and I STILL don’t understand why)
3) “I’ll seem too desperate”
Again. Someone has to do it. It doesn’t make him seem desperate or needy so why should it make you? Asking people out on dates in natural and VERY normal, this stigma of thinking you’ll seem desperate is frankly unhealthy and I am not for it.
4) “He might say no”
OBVIOUSLY. But that’s the whole point! If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, and if not, then at least you tried. Although we’ve all heard it a hundred times (and sounds incredibly cliche), you really have nothing to lose. Guys ask girls out all the time and the answer is no, it’s no biggie.
5) “It might ruin our friendship”
This is a tricky one. If you’re friends first it’s hard to know when you should cross that line. Unfortunately, this could (i hate to say it) ruin your friendship, or change it. So make sure you really like him and have thought it over.
Orrr, of course, it might have the opposite effect and you could end up together forever (yay!). Most relationships start off as friends after all.
6) “None of my friends do it”
Be the maverick of your friendship group! Pave your own path!!!
You really never know, your friends might follow in your footsteps.
7) “I could be reading the signs all wrong”
Yes. Or you might be bang on the money. This is always a risk when asking people out. If you do turn out to be wrong at least you can put it to bed and move on.
8) “It might emasculate him”
Trust me. They’ll be grateful.
9) “Boy’s are supposed to be in control”
Sorry, what?!?! You should feel just as equally in control as he does. If you feel controlled then he’s not the one. Get out of there.
10) “Being assertive isn’t sexy”
Oh but it is. Put yourself out there. Know what you want, and own it. Trust me, being unsure and nervous definitely isn’t sexy.
Dating is a tough game. It can go either way, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but I think it’s time us girls started changing the ‘norm’ and put ourselves out there. Take control of the situation if you want it bad enough.
Featured Image Source: https://datelicious.com.au/awkward-dating-moments/
Hello! I am a third year student at The University of Sussex studying Media and English Literature, living in Brighton!