We’re all warned from day one: Don’t sleep with your flatmate.
It’s a classic tale: Naïve, innocent fresher’s embarking on a new chapter of their lives, away from home, free from their parent’s close gaze.
Like most young, single students, I embraced the chance to experiment in non-exclusive relations, so commonly described as ‘Friends with Benefits’. Oh, how innocent I was.
Grouped in a 6 bed flat with an arguably odd and incompatible crowd, I immediately gravitated towards one of the more ‘normal’ individuals who happened to be a guy. But my intentions were innocent. Obviously.
Fresh out of a relatively long-term relationship, I didn’t want anything too serious (as a sex-crazed teenager: he d e f I n I t e l y didn’t) but naturally, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. So, to all fresher’s about to board this new, exciting chapter of their lives, if you take any advice from anyone, let it be: Never Sleep With Your Flatmate… and here’s why:
1. Be prepared for endless awkward run-ins.
That freedom you thought would never fade, has gone. Tiptoeing down your corridor will become a regular occurrence. You’ll find yourself waiting till the early hours of the morning to cook your dinner, nervously praying he’s won’t be in.
2. Your flat WILL divide
Whether you’re willing to admit it or not, your fellow housemates are put in the middle. In the event of an awkward ending, where both of you avoid seeing and talking to each other, your flatmates will be forced to choose. As cutthroat as it sounds, it comes down to who do they prefer. One of you will end up isolated and alone, forever regretting the series of ultimately unsatisfying one night stands you shared.
3. Your once flirty friendship is OVER
This is arguably the hardest of them all. Before you both caved into the sexual tensions, you were friends. You liked each other and were grateful to have someone to hang out with while cooking dinner or to watch Grey’s Anatomy with.
4. It almost definitely won’t live up to your expectations
It might be sh*t.
5. You’ll probably be one of many
While i stayed loyal (gullible, I know) he wasn’t. Having never had ‘the talk’ in fear of adding pressure we had no labels and no ties. It dawned on me fast that not many boys in their first year of university are ready (or willing to commit). Obviously, this is from my experience- the same applies to many girls. He saw university as a chance to explore (put bluntly) sex.
6. Alcohol will become your nemesis
Every. Night. Out. You will somehow end up drunk texting him or stumbling back to his room. Seriously. Someone should have confiscated my phone.
7. Once you realise it’s wrong you’ll agree to stop but it won’t last
One day you’ll have an epiphany and fleetingly gain some self- respect and decide to end your causal relationship. But, living 5 steps from each other means this is near impossible. You physically can’t escape each other.
8. You’ll be judged by your friends
My friends didn’t like him (although I avoided an official ‘meeting’ at all costs) and neither will yours. Why would you stay with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? (I still don’t know the answer)
9. One of you WILL catch feelings
It was me. Awkward.
10. It will ruin your self-esteem
You’ll be left wondering why he doesn’t want to commit, and why he still feels the need to ‘sleep around’.
There are SO many reasons why you should NEVER sleep with your flatmate (10 to be exact). It’s awkward, humiliating and degrading. You’ll probably regret it the moment you drunkenly trip into one of your rooms. But what do I know? I’m still with mine (three years on).
Have you ever slept with your flatmate? Give us your story in the comments!
Featured Image Source: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a29742/why-i-regret-having-sex-with-my-housemate/
Hello! I am a third year student at The University of Sussex studying Media and English Literature, living in Brighton!