With Lancaster University having over 13,000 students enrolled there, it’s no surprise that you’re bound to run into a few stereotypical characters. So, if you’re a new student starting this year expect to recognise a few of these students below.
1. The student who lives and dies with ‘It’s only first year, it doesn’t count’
Don’t be surprised if this becomes you a lot faster than you thought. Soon enough iLancaster login system will be your enemy, as it forces you to go to your lectures. The shame! How dare it force you to learn instead of waste the £9000 you spent to be there.
2. The one that literally sleeps in the library
This student is the opposite of the above mentioned and will dedicate every second of their day to working. Yet, they’ll come out the end of first year with a 1st and still say they could have worked harder… good job it doesn’t count then I suppose?
3. The students that may as well move into Sugar instead of halls since they’ll spend more time there anyway
Sugar is bound to end up being most students chosen destination on a night out, because let’s be honest who doesn’t love a good throwback song on a Friday night. But for some, Friday night just isn’t enough, and you’ll often see them slumped on the desk at 9am Thursday, after braving the Wednesday student night out despite knowing they’d suffer for it the next day. To these students, I salute you.
4. The one who lives and breathes the words of their lecturers
This person is most likely going to be an English student and if you end up living with one, be prepared for the long theatrical responses to simple questions and the rehearsed quotations of Charlotte Bronte. They won’t just be pretending to have done the reading for the week like everyone else, but eagerly be awaiting to put their hand up in the middle of the lectures to answer the lecturers rhetorical question… again.
5. The student who should only live off microwave meals
And yes, I said they should not that they do. This person at Lancaster University will be so unskilled in the kitchen that they will most likely have food poisoning on a weekly basis. Don’t be surprised if your nose and stomach is constantly being tested over the contents of their fridge.
6. The flatmate that gets into a relationship with the first person they see
Although they won’t realise it, this person will make every sentence they say about their new-found love. At first, you’ll be happy for them, but sooner or later you’ll get tired of having to put headphones in every time they have their partner over… Trust me. The university walls are not very thick, so be warned.
7. The flatmate who may as well not exist
At Lancaster University, you’re put in a flat with between 6 and 15 people so you’re bound to not get along with everyone, but there is always one who may as well not be there. Maybe they’ll go out with you in Freshers week and come to all the events, but by the time second term rolls around you’ll go weeks on end without seeing them. Only knowing they’re still alive by the occasional empty Pizzetta box in the recycling.
8. The one that tries to ruin everyone’s excitement about Roses
Now, I realise that by writing about this student I actually become them too, but it has to be said. Roses is fixed, and while the rest of the university decorates campus and decides which events they are going to attend, there is always one lurking in the background, whispering in your ear about the falsity of Roses. And once you listen to them you can’t help but feel that Roses isn’t quite the event you thought it was. Sorry folks.
9. The student that becomes a fresher’s rep just to relive freshers
In fresher’s week each set of halls will be assigned a student rep to ‘look after’ them for the week. But you will spot this rep a mile away. They will look tired and exhausted from going out the night before you arrived, and while you’ll have the best nights out with them, you’ll wonder what you actually learnt from them except how to play ring of fire.
10. The student that hates every decision the university makes
If you’re a student at Lancaster University then you’ll already know what I’m talking about. You will become this student if you’re not already. Trust me. Everyone eventually turns against the University board. A shelter to cover the walkways around campus? How dare you! Lights down to the underpass to make it feel safer? Disgraceful! Down with The Spine already.