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10 Things That Will Probably Never Happen To You At UEA

10 Things That Will Probably Never Happen To You At UEA

As a University of East Anglia student there are some things you just won't experience. Here are the top 10 things that will never happen at UEA!

UEA is a great place to study. And while there are a few things you know you’ll almost certainly experience during your time here, like a barbecue by the lake or a messy night out at the LCR, there are some things you just won’t experience. Here are 10 things that will never happen to you at University of East Anglia

1. Catch a rabbit.

After a few drinks, everyone thinks they can run after and catch one of campus’ furry residents. As tempting as it is, it’s an extraordinarily rare thing to actually manage it. Just leave them alone to do their thing.

2. Find a desk in the library on exam days.

The Students’ Union have been pushing for more library space, but you’ve still got more chance of finding a pink rabbit than you do a free portion of desk or computer terminal during the day in exam periods. Best to get in early or become nocturnal if you want to be sure of a space around May/June.


3. Make it to JSC on time.

No matter where you are on campus, JSC ALWAYS seems further away than you remember, especially ten minutes before that 9am. Better walk faster and hope for the best!

4. Complete the five Ls.

The legend of the 5 Ls is essential for any UEA student to know about. Can you do the dirty in five places (the library, lake, lecture theatre, Laundrette and LCR) on campus?! Only an elite band of people have successfully completed this challenge and written their names into the UEA legend. You’ve done well if you find someone willing and manage to complete one, let alone all five. The LCR looks even less feasible in daylight.

5. Successfully find love on the Concrete Confessions Facebook page.

There’s no shame in this, well not much anyway. We’ve all posted a desperate, bordering-on-creepy anonymous message on the cult Facebook page. They always run something like this: “To the beautiful/handsome/lovely person I saw in the library/lecture theatre/working in the SU shop or bar, you’re amazing. Drinks some time?” Their friends then tag them repeatedly, they make a scathingly nonchalant comment and then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, some joker tags their friend who it obviously wasn’t aimed at. Someone always takes it seriously. Bugger.


6. Afford to go to regular gigs at the LCR.

Of course, you make the effort to see your favourite band at the LCR. I’d bought my ticket to see The Fratellis before even enrolling! For others this year, it was Glass Animals or The Kooks. But if you come to UEA thinking you’ll be going to a gig every night, think again. Pick your favorite band and go see them!

7. Fall down the stairs of the Ziggs.

When approached from the top walkway, the Ziggurats’ stairways look more intimidating than the Chemistry course syllabus. What if you’re drunk and stumble back home and your parents look on in horror? How the hell did they pass health and safety? Well, fear not. I’ve hardly ever heard of anyone injuring themselves here, so don’t worry.

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8. Cook a meal with an oven.

If you’re a first year, chances are you’ll be living on campus in university accommodation. There are lots of benefits to this. But one thing you don’t get in most buildings is a full oven in your kitchen. It’s hobs and microwaves all the way.

9. Watch UEA lose Derby Day.

UEA has won the last five ‘Derby Days’, the annual sporting extravaganza where both UEA’s and the University of Essex’s sports teams face off for league points. For the less sporty among us, it generally entails a day of drinking outside and tipsily watching our friends play sports we know nothing about. So the fact that UEA normally wins is just a nice bonus.

10. Get bored!

There’s always something to do at UEA, whether that’s taking a walk around the lake, using the Sportspark, visiting the Sainsbury Centre, getting involved with student media or the Students’ Union, or actually doing some work for your course! One thing is almost certain though, you’ll never get bored studying at UEA.

Do you have any other things that will never happen to a student at the UEA!? Share in the comments below!

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