For the past few months you have been wrapped up in your own bubble of getting to know each other: countless dates, late night phone calls and now it is time to get serious. Now it is time to face reality and be comfortable with meeting his parents. The very thought of meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time might fill you with enough fear to book a one-way ticket to the other side of the world. But don’t stress (and don’t put this amount of strain on your bank account), below is a list of ‘must-know’ tips for meeting your boyfriend’s parents. Stick to these and they will want to make you their daughter-in-law in no time!
1. Keep it PG.
Sure you want your boyfriend’s parents to know you love and care for their son but there is no need to go overboard with affection. You might also be nervous but please refrain from hanging onto him for dear life. A gentle hand on his arm or leg is appropriate but have some self-control- or at least contain yourself until dinner is over and you can escape to his room…
2. Don’t be late.
First impressions really do count so if you turn up half an hour late this will set the tone for the rest of the evening. Turn up a few minutes early and if you happen to arrive before your boyfriend for whatever reason, then try to make polite conversation with his parents instead of expecting them to make the first move.
3. Dress appropriately.
I am not suggesting you turn up in a nun’s habit or covered from head to toe, but dress with some self-respect and modesty. In other words, don’t wear the cute two piece you wore to clubbing last weekend that really makes your boob and bum pop! If you respect yourself then your boyfriend’s parents will respect you too. You also don’t want to be sitting there feeling self-conscious about the way you look the whole time.
4. Be honest.
The worst thing you can do is slip a few little white lies into conversations in an attempt to impress your boyfriend’s parents for the first time. You will be caught out- maybe not that night, but eventually. Just be yourself and show his parents the reason why their son fell in love with you and then they will learn to love you too.
5. Get stuck in.
You are a guest in your boyfriend’s house but this doesn’t mean you can expect to be waited on hands and foot Beauty and the Beast style. Offer to help out where you can, whether this be to help dish up dinner or to help clear away the dishes. Gestures such as these will go a long way.
6. Don’t take it personal.
If his parents seem a little off or a bit reserved, try not to take it to heart. Something might have gone on during the day to put them in a bad mood, or that might just be the way they are and you need to adapt to their personality. Just because they might not meet all of your prior expectations or the image you had in your head, this doesn’t mean they are acting up because of you. Key thing to keep in mind? Don’t overthink.
7. Reserve your opinions- for now.
If dinner talk takes a sudden turn from polite chit chatter to politics, it might be best to keep your cards close to your chest. There is no point allowing the conversation to get hot and heavy by unleashing your opinions if they will only cause an argument with his parents. Just bide your time and listen politely to what his parents have to say and act as if they know best instead of trying to show off. Likewise, if family politics come to the surface, know that it is not your place to say anything. Be neutral.
8. Get your facts right beforehand.
Ask your boyfriend what his parents are like, for their interests and their pet hates. Get to know them, firstly to put your mind at ease when meeting his parents, but also so that you can think of conversation starters beforehand. It will also go a long way in their eyes if you are genuinely making an effort to get to know them as individuals instead of just as your boyfriend’s parents. Who can resist wanting to rack up some extra brownie points? At the same time, don’t go overboard by trying to become their best friend. Being too keen or intense can be very unattractive.
9. Take a small gift.
I am not suggesting you try and buy your boyfriend’s parents’ affection, but if you are meeting his parents for the first time at their house, it would be rude to turn up empty handed. A bottle of wine or some chocolates would signal to them that you are trying to make an effort and that you are grateful they are welcoming you into their home.
10. Remember they are human too.
Nerves are natural but there is no need to be scared when meeting his parents for the first time. They will probably be a bit nervous too and not know how to act around you so just try and be warm and open. Also, remember that your boyfriend would only want you to meet his parents if he genuinely loves you and can envisage a future with you, so use this as a source of comfort. You’ve got this girl!
Hopefully after reading the above ‘must-know’ tips, you’ll be more comfortable with meeting his parents for the first time. If you have any other tips then feel free to add them to the comments section below.
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My name is Nicole Brownfield and I am 20 years old. I am studying English Literature and going into my 3rd and final year of Queen Mary University, London in September. I am currently the Editor-In-chief of my University magazine 'CUB' and my dream is to pursue a career in journalism after I graduate. I love living in London and am obsessed with sourcing out food and drink places, as well as exploring the parts of London I have never been to before. My boyfriend and I have recently turned pescatarian and this symbolises my goal to constantly keep bettering myself and to stay healthy and disciplined. Every day I try and achieve something as I want to look back and be proud of the life I have lived, and to make my family proud too.