It can be really disheartening when your relationship just doesn’t work out the way you want it to. At the time, it may seem as though there was no reason why it didn’t work out – you loved them so much, so what was the problem? Unfortunately, there are some common reasons relationships don’t work out, so if you spot them in your relationship, either tackle them, or think about whether or not you actually want to be in a relationship with someone who brings these problems into your relationship.
1. Differences In Maturity
People who are children at heart can be fun – they bring a special kind of goofiness to a relationship that means you’re always smiling and messing about – but if your partner behaves like an actual child, it can be difficult to get past. If you’re both adults, but your partner insists on acting like a teenager (as in they’re moody, attention-seeking and has to have their way or tantrums ensue), then this can cause issues as you’re trying to be in an adult relationship with someone who acts far younger than they should be. This can also be the case if you’re someone who is a fully-functional adult, but your partner cannot cook, clean, or look after themselves properly. No one wants to be a parent and a partner, so if your significant other shows signs of being wildly immature, it may be time to tell them to grow up, or get lost.
2. Being Too Different
They do say that opposites attract, but if you are your partner are in complete opposition then things just won’t work out, especially if one or both of you refuses to compromise. Its fine not liking the same things as your partner, but if your partner straight up refuses to watch, try or do things that you liker based solely on the fact that they ‘don’t/won’t like it’, then your relationship is in seriously rocky territory. This is one of the biggest reasons relationships don’t work out.
3. Intimacy Incompatability
If you love cuddling and PDA, but your partner hates it, then your relationship may be difficult to work with. This also applies in the bedroom – if you and your partner have wildly different sex drives, then it can leave one of you wanting and the other feeling guilty or pressured into having sex. Again, if you compromise in these situations, then often you can find ways around them, but if you or your partner are stubborn then it can not work out simply because neither of you will get what you want out of the relationship without forcing the others to compromise.
4. Being Too Jealous
A little bit of playful jealousy can be nice, but if your relationship is being controlled by your or your partner’s paranoia, then things just won’t work. If your partner is giving you reason to feel jealous, talk to them and try and work it out. If, however, you are jealous because of past relationships and insecurities, then you need to share this with a partner and, if it is really bad, try and get help for it. If you just leave it or bottle it up, then this can severely damage your relationship and cause it to fail.
This is unfortunate, of course, but some relationships just odn;t work out as one person isn’t faithful to the relationship. Whether this is emotinal cheating or physical cheating, when one of you just isn’t dedicated enough to not look around whilst you’re in a relationship, then things just won’t work out, even if you do promise that it will never happen again. A betrayal of trust is a betrayal of trust. You can be sure this is one of the reasons relationships don’t work out.
6. Not Putting In Enough Effort
Everyone loves slobbing out on the couch with your significant other every once in a while, but if all you do is Netflix and chill then you may leave your partner feeling neglected. Date nights and putting in effort for your partner is important as it makes them feel special and loved, and means that you can spend time together in a different environment than you are used to. If you never go on dates or do anything romantic, then your partner may feel as though you don’t think they are worth the effort, or that you don’t love them. As these feelings get stronger, it can take a toll on your relationship and cause it to break down.
7. Confusing Your ‘Okay’ Relationship With ‘The One’
Whilst it’s very easy to fall hard and fast for someone, and then believe that you’re going to be with them forever, if you purposefully blind yourself to someone’s flaws whilst doing so then this can cause your relationship to not work out later on. The relationship doesn’t work out as you will inevitably expect ore of your partner than they can give you, fairly or unfairly. In addition, if you think your partner id the one but they aren’t so sure about you, then this can cause arguments and tension, thus making your relationship fall apart. This can most certainly be one of the reasons relationships don’t work out.
8. Keeping Secrets
Keeping secrets from your partner can quickly cause your relationship to break down as dishonesty is a terrible foundation for your relationship, and you or your partner keeping secrets about the other can also cause your relationship to break down. For example, if you and your partner are planning for the future together but one of you doesn’t want to tell anyone, and doesn’t want the other to tell anyone, then this can cause problems as it can feel as though your partner is somehow ashamed of the other person in the relationship. In extreme cases, this can be you or your partner hiding the entire relationship from other people. This can cause relationships to not work out as if you;re in a relationship, you should be honest about things both to your partner, and to other people about your partner.
9. Moving Through Life At Different Speeds
If you’re in a relationship where one of you has life completely sorted out whilst one of you doesn’t, this can out strain on your relationship as you simply don’t understand each other’s personal situations, and this can lead to misunderstandings and arguments as a result. This can be solved by explaining things to one another, but if you believe you should be in the right because where you are in life compared to your partner, then this is one of the reasons relationships don’t work out.
10. Relationship/Habit Abuse
This is a more serious reason why relationships don’t, but a lot of relationships don;t work out as one of the people involved is abusive in some way. This can be domestically, emotionally or sexually, or they can abuse things like drugs or alcohol. This can leave the non-abusive partner feeling helpless, lost and confused, and in the case of drug or alcohol abuse, unsure of how to help their partner. This causes the relationship to become toxic, and to not work out. If your relationship is abusive, talk to a trusted friend or family member, or call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 if you are a woman, or the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327 if you are a man. If you or your partner suffers from substance abuse issues then call the Samaritans on 116 123, or talk to your doctor.
Which do you think are the reasons relationships don’t work out? Let us know in the comments!
English student, unicorn and pug aficionado, expert binge-watcher, make-up fanatic. Has a dupe for everything, including your ex.