It’s fair to say that being a fresher is pretty much like being in year 7 all over again, except ten times scarier and you don’t get to go home and cry about it at the end of the day.
Well, you do, except your mum/dad/the dog won’t be there to cheer you up and you’ll only have about 5 minutes to feel sorry for yourself before you get back to doing grown up things like feeding yourself and getting drunk. Kidding! It’s not that bleak, but when you inevitably commit at least 15 of the following mistakes as a University of Birmingham Fresher, just remember that a) you’re allowed to laugh at yourself and b) you’re in the same boat as everybody else. Keep reading for 20 mistakes every University of Birmingham fresher makes!
1. Drag three weeks’ worth of washing over to Circuit laundry and then realise you’ve forgotten to top your card up.
2. Then leave your clothes in the tumble dryer for 9 hours only to find some kind person has dumped it right on the floor in a murky puddle.
3. Spend most your student loan the week it comes in and then spend the rest of the semester trying to make up for your poor life choices.
4. Make another poor life choice by skipping on mixers to save money.
5. Sign half your loan away to join a society you end up never ever attending.
6. Befriend the entirety of your block on a night out and then forget literally everyone’s name.
7. Go to the introductory lecture for your course with a crippling hangover.
8. Get with someone on your course or in your accommodation.
9. Forget to sign up to the UMP until you get ill which of course happens at the same time as everyone else.
10. Do a full week’s worth of shopping in Selly Oak and then try to carry it home.
11. Drunkenly become best friends with someone from your old school making it insanely awkward next time you run into each other at home.
12. Go to Stuesdays, Snobs or Fab with potential pneumonia.
13. Tell yourself you’ll make it to your 9am as you knock back your 11th shot at pres.
14. Tell yourself you’ll make up for the 9am you missed because you had 11 shots at pres.
15. Commit an inevitable unspoken faux pas that all second/third/fourth/post-grad students will hate you for.
16. Like using the library.
17. Take anything more than a pen to a seminar if you do humanities.
18. Spend your entire student loan printing out the secondary reading for your seminar.
19. Let the takeaway leaflet guy into your accommodation – you will never see the floor of your hallway again.
20. Lose at least one form of ID/your phone/your keys/dignity/everything.
So try not to take life too seriously if you’re a fresher; just remember that first year doesn’t count and overdrafts exist for a reason!