When you have been in a long term relationship, things can tend to get a little bit monotonous. You might find that you are no longer going on dates nor receiving any thoughtful small surprises like you used to. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with laying down on the sofa and binge watching Love Island. It is good that you and your partner are comfortable and just because the excitement is not the same as it was in the beginning does not mean the relationship is working. It just means you have to put a little bit more effort in just like you used to when you guys first got together. Here are a few tips to get the sparks back in your relationship.
1. Don’t skip those date nights
Treat those date nights as if you are meeting an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while. You wouldn’t cancel on that friend just because you are tired or simply because a new episode came out on your favourite TV show (except obviously Game of Thrones), so make sure you don’t ditch on your date night. If the reason you and your partner have been skipping date nights is because of money situation, then you can try and do something free together. Maybe a free exhibition, you can cook a special meal or just go for a picnic.
2. The importance of self-care
When we get into a long term relationship we tend to get really comfortable, which is a good thing. However, sometimes it can affect our own self-care. It is incredibly important to take care of ourselves by eating healthy, continuing to exercise and sometimes just having some “me time”. Because when you stop doing all of these things, you won’t feel as good as you used to which will have an effect on the chemistry between you and your partner.
3. Try and surprise your other half – and not only on special occasions
When you first get together with someone, it is filled with cute nicknames and endless surprises, but as time goes by, these surprises turn into only special occasion presents, which are more expected even if you always act surprised. Get your partner a thoughtful present on a random day or make them something- doesn’t matter what it is. Big or small, the surprise will show them that you appreciate and love them.
4. Go on adventures
I know that many of you will see this and thing, well we would love to but who has the time and money. Which believe me I can relate to, but there are smaller and cheaper types of adventures you can go on. This could be an afternoon trip or a weekend camping get away. Whether it is a small or a big adventure, try and make time. This will do wonders for your relationship.
5. Communication is key
We all know communication is incredibly important for every type of relationship. If you feel neglected or you feel like you and your partner don’t do anything anymore, talk to them. They might have a reason for it or they might have not even noticed it. This will help your partner to understand how you are feeling and will help your long term relationship to gain that excitement again.
6. Spend time with other couples or friend groups
Spending time with mutual friends is a great way spark up your long term relationship. By communicating and socialising with other people together can be a lot of fun. If you don’t have mutual friends, then read the next tip!
7. Girls Night
In any long term relationship it is very important to make time for your friends. Of course, long term relationships take time and effort so it is understandable that you don’t spend as much time with your friends as you used to. However, that doesn’t mean you can just neglect them. You need to make time for your friends, whether that be a fun night out or one of them is having a rough day. This will give you stories to tell your partner and just have some time apart.
8. Try new things together
When you try new activities together you will make new memories together. This will also help you form friendships together where you can hang out with them afterwards. For example you can go on cooking classes, climbing or whatever it is that you are both interested in.
9. Exercise together
I can already hear people reading this and say, “I don’t even exercise on my own”, well; it’s time to start! You don’t need a gym membership or I am not talking about hot yoga classes. It could be walks in the park or just going for a little run. No matter what type of exercise it is, do it with your partner. This will help you spend time together by doing something useful and healthy for your own body and mind. It will also you and your partner to set goals together.
10. Back to the roots
Do you remember when you guys first got together? All the dates you went on and the things you guys talked about hours? Well, start doing them again! If you guys used to go to exhibitions all the time, or discovered coffee shops together, start doing that again. This will not only make you remember all those wonderful memories but will also help you create new ones.