Being alone isn’t something I’m afraid of. More often than not, I prefer being alone. Being an only child-though I had a lot of family to keep me company- I grew habituated to enjoying my own company. Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the company of others, it just means I am comfortable with being by myself. I’m a loner and I’m okay with it.
1. The term ‘loner’ often comes with a negative connotation.
It comes with the image of a person, eccentric and moody, with no one to turn to. They are seen as people with no friends, or someone with a dislike and disdain of human contact and connect.
I admit that I’m quite socially awkward -a feeling that’s most often a product of my own imagination- and tend to feel uncomfortable in large social settings. So that might be why I prefer being alone.
2. This doesn’t mean I don’t have friends.
I have friends. Many of whom I’ve known for years, and who’ve been there for me through the hard times. I absolutely love them, and the thought of meeting and catching up with them always makes me happy. But I never feel incomplete if I don’t talk to someone during the course of a day.
3. As humans, we are largely social creatures.
People need other people to survive. I am, most definitely, the same. There are times when I actively seek out companionship. But at the end of a long day, nothing appeals to me more than some alone time.
Whether it be coming back from a hectic day at university or returning home from a fun party, I like coming back to my own space. That’s why, in spite of being in a foreign country where most people seek familiarity and company, I chose to live alone. I enjoy coming back home to a place where I can be alone with my thoughts.
I enjoy living alone, travelling/vacationing alone and spending my days curled up with a good book or film. This doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy doing the same activities with other people, it just means I’m not afraid to do it alone.
4. Living and travelling alone are things I learned to do once I moved away.
It’s an amazing, liberating experience. The first time I took the steps to do it, I was definitely nervous. But once I did it, I knew I prefer it. The independence and the convenience of the experience is something I definitely need and enjoy. Another thing about being alone is that allows me to introspect. When I’m alone I’m able to gather my emotions and thoughts in a better, more effective manner. It helps me understand myself better. When I’m happy, I enjoy revelling in that happiness alone. When I’m sad, I am comfortable with being vulnerable on my own.
This isn’t to say I don’t seek out people to share my happiness or sadness with, it just means I don’t necessarily need people to share it with. I would be more than happy to have people around to tell them something amazing that’s happened in my life or to share a sad thought niggling at me. But if there’s no one around that’s okay too. I can still be happy or sad by myself.
5. People are often afraid to be alone.
They do everything they possibly can to surround themselves with people, without realizing that being alone has its pros too. Don’t get me wrong, having people to share experiences with is an important and precious part of life. But becoming dependant on the presence of others never really helps. I love spending time with my family and friends, but I have learned not to place my ability to be happy on their presence.
I love people, but I love being by myself more. That might make me sound anti-social but all it is is my comfortable, preferred setting. I’m a loner and I’m happy to be one.