You’ve been on a few dates. He made a good first impression. But by the fourth date, you know you have made a mistake as he sits across the table from you talking with a mouthful of food. You need to end things, fast. However, there is no need to be horrible about this, even if you are subtly flicking spittle and spinach off your face! So below are some helpful tips on how to let him down gently (whatever the situation) when you’re just not interested anymore.
If you have been seeing each other then the least that you can do is to break up with him in person. Even if you are not interested in him anymore, remember why he first caught your eye and use this to show him the courtesy he deserves by letting him down gently. Think how horrible it would be to receive a text or email – this is the cowardly way out.
Good cop, bad cop. Let him down gently but also tell him the truth. Don’t be too nice so as to give him false hope that you might rekindle something in the future. Make it clear this is the end and wish him all the best for the rest of his life and upcoming relationships. But whatever you do, do not use the generic ‘its not me, its you’ line as this is just insulting. Speak from the heart. Although it may seem nice to sugar coat it, don’t. Saying exactly what you feel is really important when it comes to how to let him down gently.
Just like ripping off a plaster, you need to get it over and done with so as to avoid unnecessary pain. Let’s be real if you’re the one ending things, then he will no doubt be gutted that you just aren’t interested anymore. Don’t keep him talking for ages as he might be keeping a brave face in front of you, but in all honesty his heart (and his ego) would have suffered a huge blow and he will probably want to leave to go lick his wounds.
Even if you are not interested in him on a romantic level, this doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. If you genuinely clicked and enjoy his company, then don’t let this go. I can guarantee that some sort of contact would be pleasanter than dropping the guy completely. But don’t force a friendship, leave the ball in his court so he still feels like he has some degree of control.
You have just let him down (as gently as possible) but there is no need to shout it from the rooftops. Think of his feelings and show him some respect. Spare him the embarrassment of telling your friends every saucy detail of how you rejected him, especially if they know the guy too. If it was the other way round, you wouldn’t want everyone knowing would you?
Okay so you have prepared yourself to let him down gently but nothing can prepare you for how they might react. The key is to be firm and stick to your decision either way. The guy might get upset, he might say nothing, he might be angry and try and take it out on you. Keep your cool but don’t let him feel guilty for your decision as you can’t help how you feel and there is nothing worse than staying with someone out of pity. This is really important when letting him down gently.
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