You don’t always see toxic friendships coming. One minute they’re your best friend and the next, they’ve turned into a person you don’t particularly like, or turn out to be someone different to the person you thought they were. A toxic friendship can not only be a struggle to be a part of, constantly watching what you say, walking on eggshells around them, but they can be hard to get out of too, especially if that particular person is part of your wider friendship group, or you’ve known them for a long time. For anyone who needs some help or advice surrounding a toxic friendship, here is how to get out of a toxic friendship step by step.
1. Be Honest With Yourself
If you’re not sure whether or not a friendship that you are a part of is toxic or not, then take a while to step back and think about things honestly. Do you get anything out of the friendship? Does this person make you feel bad about yourself? When was the last time they were legitimately nice to you? Do they try and make everything all about them?
For example, if this person always seems to have everything worse than you, makes everything all about them, tries to tell you who you can and can’t hang out with or is constantly passive aggressive, then it’s a toxic friendship.
2. Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s completely normal to have mixed feelings surrounding a toxic friendship. You know that they have been a good friend to you in the past and you may question whether or not to give them the benefit of the doubt. But, you need to remember, that in a toxic friendship you can’t change them. They might just not be the same person they used to be.
3. Make Yourself Clear
Talk to your friend. Tell them exactly how you’re feeling. Make sure you know exactly what you’re going to say to them, it might be hard because you might still love them, but they’re just not good for you anymore. Be direct in talking to them without being mean, just let them know that it’s going to benefit both of you if you just go your separate ways.
4. Limit Contact
It’s going to be hard at first. Not seeing someone you used to be friends with, even if it was a toxic friendship, probably won’t feel great at first, but you just have to keep reminding yourself that what you did was for the best. However, if you’re lucky, you may just feel relief, finally being free from something that has kept you held down for so long. Either way, you’ll feel better for it in the long run!
5. Stop Following Them On Social Media
We all know it can be tempting to keep up with what people are doing from time to time. However, this is just going to make you feel shitty. Their life, just like yours, isn’t going to come to a standstill just because the two of you are no longer friends. To see them going out, having fun, and getting on with their life is only going to annoy you. Don’t put yourself through it, unfollow/delete them from all of your social media!
6. Fill Your Time
Now that you’re not spending time with the person, it doesn’t mean you have to sit around bored. Fill the time you used to spend with them doing other things. Do something your passionate about, or hang out with other friends! Just have fun and don’t wallow!