If you’re Asian (or Arab) your parents may not be… well normal. They have a whole different way of bringing up children, a crazy set of rules and a way of life which now that I think about it is so weird. If you’re not Asian then bare in mind that these things about Asian parents are all true as strange as they might seem and if you are Asian then you know what I’m talking about all too well.
You know when you leave one spoon in the sink and your parents tell you off, well if you’re Asian telling off usually includes something to hit you with. It’s usually your mum that comes chasing after you with the “chample” or a rolling pin around the entire house to teach you a lesson.
The same goes for biscuit tins or even margarine tubs. I cannot tell you how many times I have gone into the freezer and seen a tub of ice cream then to open it and almost cry when I see frozen samosas instead. The worst one of them all is opening a biscuit tin and seeing a sewing kit inside!
You know what I’m talking about before I even have to explain it to you. But for anyone who isn’t Asian, these were no ordinary blankets, they were the blankets stuffed in storage rooms used only when guest came over, they came in all sorts of colours from blue to orange with the most random designs ever, sometimes a tiger sometimes a flower basket but I have to admit they’re super comfy.
For some reason our cousins back in Asia have more things than we do, it’s like our parents just send back all the good things to them like new phones, clothes and especially loads of Cadbury’s chocolate. What’s even worse is when you reach the airport and you’re luggage is overweight because of the amount of stuff so you take things out rather than pay extra money because we’re Asian and Asians are cheap.
If you grew up with Asian parents you’ve heard the phrase “look at your cousins” and it’s usually followed by “they have 8 A*”, “they’re going to uni” or “they’re basically perfect and you need to be like them because you’re an embarrassment to the family”, okay maybe not the last one but they’d might as well because that’s how they always feel.
Your parents (or grandparents) would always have those over dramatic TV shows on when you see them. They always include an evil sister in law or mother in law and they’re always planning something really bad and don’t even get me started on how the music and special effects are so overdone it’s ridiculous. And between you and me I think it’s TV shows like this that Asian Aunties get their evil inspiration from.
Your head hurts? Have a paracetamol. You broke your arm? Have a paracetamol. You’re dying of a rare disease? Just take a paracetamol and you’ll be fine! Asian parents have stacks of paracetamol in the kitchen because they believe it’s the miracle cure to absolutely everything, they pop them like they’re tictacs.
Remember how our year 7 blazers were 10x bigger so that our parents wouldn’t have to buy us another one for the next 5 years. Like I said before Asian parents are cheap so you probably have a wardrobe full of clothes 10x bigger because your parents believed “you would fit into it”.
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