When it comes to friendships and maintaining them, there aren’t really any self-help books you can buy that will teach you how to be a good friend. So how do you do it? How do you maintain a friendship without causing drama, or tension between the both of you? Well, here are some friendships do’s and don’ts everyone should know about, and should definitely abide by.
1. Listen to them when they’re talking
Nobody likes to be interrupted, nor do they want to feel like they’re being ignored. Always try to listen to your friends when they’re talking, and show interest in what they’re saying even if it’s the most boring thing in the world. Showing them your disinterest and lack of respect will only make them resent you, and thus cause drama and tension between the both of you.
2. Be there for them when they need you
If your friend is crying over a breakup or wanting to rant about something that happened to them, always try to be there for them and give them emotional support. If you’re always finding excuses to not be there, they’re going to catch on and sooner or later drama will ensue. The less you’re there for them, the less they’ll be there for you. When the day comes that none of your friends are willing to help you out when you really need it, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
3. Be genuine, don’t be fake
If you don’t like something – say it. Pretending to be okay with everything will only cause problems in the long run. You might think you’re really good at hiding your distaste for something your friend is doing, but when you have to force yourself to hang out with them or talk to them, it’s going to show. And when it does, your friend isn’t going to take it nicely. They’re going to question your whole friendship up to this point, regardless of when this “fake” attitude began.
1. Don’t betray them in any way, shape or form
Whether it be dating an ex-boyfriend without consulting them first, or spreading their secrets around like candy, never betray a friend lest you want to throw your friendship in the trash. As friends, they trust that you’ll never do anything to intentionally hurt them. So when you do, it’s going to hit them harder than you think it would. Trust is something that is nearly impossible to repair, so don’t risk breaking it for something that could be easily avoided.
2. Don’t talk behind their backs
It’s never a good idea to take the risk of talking behind someone’s back, especially if it’s your friend. In some way, your rumours and bad-mouthing are bound to resurface and find their way to the friend in question. And when it does, you’re going to have a lot on your hands. Your friend is going to feel betrayed and hurt, and your trust will be broken beyond repair. Not only that, but talking behind their backs might affect their other relationships, as you’re spreading rumours and negative comments about your friend. If you really care about your friend, tell your concerns straight to their face. A real friend will understand that you want the best for them, and take what you say as nicely as they can.
3. Don’t be inconsiderate or take them for granted
Never be inconsiderate. I know you need a favour to be done, or that you want someone to accompany you while you rush to print your assignment in the middle of the night, but don’t burden your friends with everything all at once. Think about their own plans and schedules, never expect them to be able to do everything you ask for on command. If you do this, they’re going to resent you for your lack of respect for their wellbeing, and your friendships will most likely end sooner or later.
So there you have it! Some friendships do’s and don’ts that will definitely help you in maintaining your friendships, and in being a good friend.