While a great emphasis is often put on the loss of one’s virginity, the reality is that sometimes these encounters aren’t exactly pleasurable— and that’s totally okay. Ultimately, sex is as important as you make it; no woman should be ashamed of when she decides to have sex for the first time, let alone how many sexual partners she later pursues. I have friends who lost their virginity with long-term boyfriends, as well as on one-night stands in college. The beauty of sex and your first time is that the choice is entirely up to you. Never let anyone pressure you because believe me, you’ll know when you’re ready and in the mood. So, does sex hurt the first time? Let’s find out.
So let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and realities of your first time.
1) If you are really worried about it, chances are you’re not ready
It’s without question that sex is an intimate process— you’re sharing a part of yourself with someone that is entirely unexplored. Questions such as if you’ll be any good at it, as well as what it’ll feel like are completely valid, but if you’re scared or unsure if you want to have sex yet, my advice is to wait. There’s no rush when it comes to your first time and it’ll be more enjoyable if you’re in control and excited for it, as opposed to being both unnerved and uncomfortable.
2) Does sex hurt the first time?
Everybody’s body reacts differently. Sex is complex and no one has the same experience when losing their virginity: it’s completely unique. For some people it does hurt and your body needs time to get used to it. While for others, it’s not as painful, but that doesn’t mean it’s as pleasurable as the movies define it to be. In all honesty, your first time isn’t going to be like a scene straight out of Fifty Shades of Grey. No one is as masterful as Christian Grey when losing their virginity: it’s a learning process. So remember that if it feels weird or unnatural, that’s entirely normal.
3) Without a doubt, protection is important
Not trying to be your mother, but protection while losing your virginity is incredibly necessary. Whether its a partner or one-night fling, it’s important to be educated on the various forms of protection and safe-sex practices. I suggest meeting with a gynecologist and finding the right form of birth control for you and of course, using condoms.
4) Do a little research
If you’re nervous about pain during your first time, I advise doing a little research on lubricants since they are especially helpful for making the process go more smoothly. There’s a plethora of lubricated condoms and natural lubricants out there to make sex more pleasurable, as opposed to uncomfortable. My suggestion? Check out Durex and its various products. The biggest question always seems to be, “does sex hurt the first time?” Prepare yourself with some research.
5) Confidence is key
Feelings of control and empowerment during sex are extremely vital. The mind and body are synced and if you’re nervous or uneasy, the reaction will be to tense up, which makes sex a less than desirable encounter. Remember your strength and beauty, as well as be proud of your body—any man is lucky to be with you, let alone share the experience of your first time. Relax, breathe and enjoy it.