After every failed relationship I always promise myself I won’t make those same mistakes again. To be fair to myself, I’ve rarely made the same mistakes twice, but instead made a whole new set of mistakes depending on which relationship. None the less, it helps to reflect on what went wrong and how you can prevent history from repeating itself (again and again and again). For this reason I’ve come up with 15 dating rules for my future self, which I’m hoping, if followed, will allow me to make the most out of dating, as opposed to having to compromise myself, as I have in the past…
When you’re first getting to know someone, there are always going to be some things which draw you to them, and some others which quite frankly just put you off. Don’t just ignore the bad things and focus on the good ones, if they don’t have qualities which balance out with your own, don’t settle. This is one of the most important dating rules for anyone!
Dating someone who’s the exact same age as you who is going through more or less the same thing at the same time can be a little bit boring and predictable. Spice it up a little!
If the person you’re dating makes you feel like you need to be a different version of yourself, you’re automatically losing heaps of self-respect in catering to that. Be you, and you will attract the people who naturally bounce off and want to share your energy.
We’ve all been in a relationship and shared all the same friends as our partner. It’s fun at the time, but when you break up, all of a sudden people are forced to take sides and it’s messier than it’s worth. So, try and edge towards someone from a different circle to avoid any potential drama. This is one of these dating rules that is very important, especially for your friends sake.
It’ll be romantic, they said. It’ll make you stronger, they said. It’ll make your heart grow fonder, they said. Maybe there are moments along the line that these things are true, but most of the time the negatives outweigh the positives.
Texting is a good way to get to know someone in between dates, but it shouldn’t be too heavily depended on. Face-to-face contact is the most rewarding, so keep texting to a minimum and save the chat for when you are actually together!
As much as you hate it, they’re usually right, so if they have the courage to be honest to you about someone you’re dating, listen, and try and take what they they’re saying on board.
It’s good nature to focus on the positive qualities of someone and hope that the rest won’t be an issue, e.g. convincing yourself that dating a non-sensitive person will balance out your over-sensitiveness. Wrong. Some sensitive people just need their emotion to be catered to and returned.
In the excitement of a new relationship it’s easy to fall in to the trap of spending all your time together, but try schedule in some you-time and keep things balanced!
The more confident you feel in yourself, the less likely you are to allow yourself to be moulded into anyone else’s ideals. Accept yourself in spite of anything else!
If you want to have sex on the first date, do it. If you want to wait until you’re ready, don’t second doubt it. You are in charge of your own body and your own desires, don’t forget it!
Maybe they look like they’re listening, but are they really engaging and responding in a way that excites you?
In this day and age I’m over the “play hard to get” dating game. I want honesty and I don’t want to be waiting around for a response which may or may not arrive.
Has anyone else been with their partner when they’ve bumped into one of their friends and just completely failed to introduce you? It’s rude and devaluing, and nobody deserves it! This is one of the most important dating rules to remember!
Being able to engage with others as a couple is a great way to make you feel good about a relationship (given that they get on with your family and friends…).
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