Let me paint a truly bone-chilling picture. You’re the host of an eagerly anticipated student party and the guests have started to fill up whatever hole in the wall you occupy. Cheap wine is being guzzled, idle chatter begins to fill the air and the heady potential of youth could send this gathering in a million different directions.
None of this matter while the dance floor is getting less action than a closeted teenager. The only way to avert a disaster that rivals impending ecological destruction is to grab the aux cord and pop on an absolute banger.
Mr Brightside by The Killers
As soon as the jangling guitar riff hits you can be sure an eruption of excited squeals will erupt as the entire house stampedes onto the dance floor. The debut single from the American rock band is a genuine millennial anthem, despite the titular protagonist sounding like a paranoid creep on a closer listen. This floor filler has saved many a student party, so type it into Spotify ASAP in your time of need.
Untouched by The Veronicas
The opening violins on this masterpiece of Australian pop are seared into the memory of every University going young Australian, so you best believe it’s a reliable pick to get any student party going. Perfect for a drunken sing along or even making a move on the object of your desires, the twins hit a home run with this now 12-year-old tune. The abundance of memes still created about the slice of audio heaven is proof of the fact it is a genuine cultural touchstone sure to fill the floor to this very day. Swag!
I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston
There is no more beautiful sound than the voice of Ms. Whitney Houston. On this 80s pop classic, she was in full flight and hit notes that immediately generate a rush of serotonin. Lyrically, this tune managed to capture a universal emotion – the desire to share something special on the floor with someone who has caught your eye. I had a hard time choosing between this and How Will I Know, because this woman knows how to speak to the soul no matter what she’s singing.
Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order
A true masterwork of synth pop, the emotional depth and push-pull dynamic of this blistering banger is sure to get all attendees working out their damage on the dance floor. The drum machine intro, bubbling electronica and quasi-religious romantic lyrics blend together to create undeniable pop perfection. Trust me, your student party will explode once that iconic line hits at the start of the chorus: “Every time I see you falling / I get down on my knees and pray.” I truly believe this is a certified BANGER BABY!
Work by Rihanna
Rihanna is fucking QUEEN alright. She is the GODDESS of our generation honey, so you best believe anyone with a soul is ready to BUMP’N’GRIND to this reggae-infused BANGAH bitch! Plus, the bars from Drake go alright. If you want to see everyone drop it low, this is the track for it. Sure, the whites will inevitably mangle the lyrics (this author is very much guilty) and none of us will ever match Rih-Rih’s moves – but during the moment it won’t matter. WERQ, WERQ, WERQ!
Some other strong Rihsus picks are Bitch Better Have My Money, Pon De Replay and We Found Love. She really can soundtrack an entire night TBH.