Young women have it hard! There’s backlash and judgement from everyone and everywhere. Youth for women is full of drama, confusion and bad decisions. Here is my advice all young women NEED to know – to help you get through this time as smoothly as possible!
1. F*ck Shame
Many women feel shame for a many reasons, but the feeling of shame during teenage years and early 20’s has to be the worst. Shame can occur for a variety of reasons in a young woman’s youth, whether it be sexual, physical or emotional etc, well i say, fuck it all!
A common reason young women tend to feel ashamed is because of that monthly drama we tend to call periods. It is ingrained into us at incredibly young ages to ‘hide our tampons’, or, ‘don’t let anyone know you’re on your period’. Yes, periods may suck because they’re painful and inconvenient but its important to remember half of humanity (and beyond) have them and they’re certainly nothing to be embarrassed about. There’s no need to lower your voice or make yourself feel uncomfortable just for the convenience and comfortably of someone that has no idea what you’re going through, and god forbid they’ll ever find out you’re bleeding!
Another common reason for shame is centered around sex. Young women, especially inexperienced young women are lead to believe that sex is over when a man cums, and if he’s not having a great time that’s your fault. Sex is a two person activity, so if he’s not loving it, there’s something that needs to be worked on or discussed between the both of you. So then, who’s fault is it when you’re not having a great time? Don’t feel embarrassed to say you want to stop, of you want to try something different. But never feel ashamed if he cant cum – lets face it think of all the times he didn’t care to wonder if you did or not.
2. Wear What You Want
Wear whatever you feel comfortable in! Whether that’s a piece of string, a cardboard box or a full coverage hijab, never let anyone ever tell you what you ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ wear, or what they think you’d be more comfortable in. You’ve lived in your body for longer than anyone else, and yes you’re probably going to face a few wardrobe malfunctions from time to time, but its your body and your life so who cares.
This includes the fact that bra’s are not compulsory, if you’re at the gym and don’t to be smacked in the face with every leap, fair enough. But don’t feel like you HAVE to, or NEED to wear a bra, because that feeling at the end of your day when you relieve yourself by taking your bra off, could be permanent.
3. Say What You Want
Speak what’t on your mind (as long as it doesn’t harm or offend anyone). And Speak without interruption. If someone puts you down or makes you feel uncomfortable don’t be afraid to stand up and say what you feel.
Mansplaining- when a man comments or explains something to a woman in a patronizing or condescending way, and the general talking over of young women is ever present in today’s society. Don’t let it happen yo you!
4. Sleep With Who You Want
Young women are often shamed and ridiculed because of their choice of partner, amount of partners, and general choice of sex life.The most irritating thing about this is this judgement is exclusively reserved for women. Men are free to express themselves sexually with whoever and however they choose.
My advice to young women, is fuck it – Literally (if you so choose). Sleeping with a variety of people builds character, and allows a path of self discovery, you’ll find out a lot about what you like and don’t life, if you choose this path. If you want to wait until marriage, or love however, feel free, don’t let anyone tell you you shouldn’t do that either!