*Warning of generalisation* Unfortunately there is the common stereotype that all men have to be a walking personification of testosterone, they cannot express their feelings, and they are immune to weakness. Society and evolution has taught them to be strong, to be the provider, to take charge. But often these expectations and tropes place too much pressure on men who are still human, and who also experience insecurities and worries throughout life, and especially when it comes to relationships. Women, as much as we wish they were, men are not in fact mind readers and we do not give them enough credit for how sensitive they are. Like women, men are also prone to overthinking and this can lead to them doubting themselves and their relationship. In light of this, below is a list of things all boys worry about in relationships. So women have a read and try to put your partner’s mind at ease…
1. How much you tell your friends (and if they like him)
One of the things all boys worry about in relationships is how much information you tell your girlfriends about your relationship. Do you rant to them every time he annoys you? Every time you argue? Do they only hear about the little bumps in the relationship and therefore have a bad overall impression of him? Or do you divulge too much information about your bedroom antics so that every time they see him they are picturing him in compromising positions, or sniggering about the size of his ‘package’?
2. His performance in the bedroom
Most men like to be dominant in the bedroom, their ultimate goal is to satisfy you sexually and to help you to orgasm. All boys worry that you are bored in the bedroom department and that you secretly wish your sex life was a little spicier, or that they could be doing something better. That like with their cooking, you are too polite to say something, and you just lay there and take it as blunt as that sounds. His fears in the bedroom also extends to his body and the size of his penis: is it too big? Is it too small? Does it look weird?
3. That he’s not attractive enough
Just as girls are insecure about their looks, so are men. This includes their face, but also their body. Why do you think they spend so many hours in the gym? Sure there are other reasons, but the main one is that they want to impress you. Evolution has proven that women tend to be more attracted to muscly, tall men who are more likely to be able to protect and provide for them. But don’t worry men, I wouldn’t like to lay with someone with washboard abs (I always think it would be like laying with a cheese grater) and all girls like a little bit of podge – especially if they aren’t ripped themselves! Confidence is sexier than a six pack trust me.
4. That you compare him to other men or past relationships
All boys worry that you are constantly comparing them to other men in relationships, especially exes. They can get particularly alarmed if they look nothing like your ex, or if they do not fit the mould of your specific ‘type’. With millions of other men in the world it comes as no surprise that they view everyone with a dick as a competitor to your heart.
5. That you don’t see a future with him
Yes, men also think about the future and have long term goals women. Another one of the things all boys worry about in relationships is that you cannot envision spending the rest of your life with them. They worry that you don’t view them as husband material, or that you don’t think they will be a good father. They have the irrational fear that your relationship will inevitably crash and burn or that you will dump them any minute.
6. That you think he’s unaccomplished/Not intelligent enough
All boys worry in relationships whether you view him as being good enough for you. Has he got a good job, has he got goals in life, can he stimulate you intellectually as well as emotionally and physically? Especially if their girlfriend is driven, they often worry that they will not be able to keep up with you.
7. Saying the wrong thing
The way he talks with his friends is very different to the way he talks with you, especially when it is just the two of you alone. Sometimes men can be too honest for their own good or can be a little insensitive with their wording compared to when girls talk to their friends. One of the common things all boys worry about in relationships is that they will say the wrong thing in relationships and will offend their girlfriend.
8. That you wish he had more money
Again there is the common misconception that women are only with men for their money and that men have to be the sole provider in the relationship. In relationships, all men worry that you are only with them for their money, that they should be making more money, and that you might look elsewhere if someone with more money comes along. But I promise not all girls are this superficial.
9. That you don’t need him
My friend recently confessed that her boyfriend told her that she didn’t need him in the same way he needed her, he said that it was true that she wanted him but that she didn’t actually need him. All boys worry when their girlfriend is independent, not to the extent of wanting to control her, but that she could live without him. But that is the beauty about relationships, you both need one another mutually and work together as a team, but you are also both individuals in your own right.
10. That you will cheat on him
This fear extends to all boys and all girls in relationships. Among the things all boys worry about in relationships, most of them worry that their girlfriend might look elsewhere, or will lose interest when a better offer comes along. They fear that you will betray them and talk (amongst other things) to someone behind their back.
So there you have it, things all boys worry about in relationships. Can you think of any other worries and doubts boys might have? If so, answer in the comment section below.
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My name is Nicole Brownfield and I am 20 years old. I am studying English Literature and going into my 3rd and final year of Queen Mary University, London in September. I am currently the Editor-In-chief of my University magazine 'CUB' and my dream is to pursue a career in journalism after I graduate. I love living in London and am obsessed with sourcing out food and drink places, as well as exploring the parts of London I have never been to before. My boyfriend and I have recently turned pescatarian and this symbolises my goal to constantly keep bettering myself and to stay healthy and disciplined. Every day I try and achieve something as I want to look back and be proud of the life I have lived, and to make my family proud too.