You have the break-up and you deal with it, but then you have the aftermath. Now you have to deal with being broken hearted. It’s a funny thing – you’re not sat around feeling sorry for yourself, but you’re not necessarily over it – it’s somewhere in between. You feel sad. You feel disappointed. You still think about it like it was yesterday, it still creeps up on you even though you don’t want it too. I’m here to tell you that everything you’re still feeling, and all the over thinking you’re doing is normal. A broken heart isn’t a one-time thing, which is fixed after a week. It feels like its going to be there forever until one day it starts to fade. I know everyone has a different story about heartbreak, but let’s speed your process up and get to it. It’s not only a break up that can break a heart, it can be someone’s attitude or untruthful behaviour.
1. Just Because You Want Something, Doesn’t Mean It’s Good For You
You might want something, that something more than anything you’ve ever wanted before. But, just because you want something, it doesn’t mean that it’s good for you. You need to respect yourself, and know that you are more than just an option and you are more than second thoughts. Admit and acknowledge that you deserve better. A want is not a need.
2. People Will Do Exactly What They Want To Do
One of the most frustrating feelings, I’m gonna’ put it out there, ever – is someone not doing what you want them to do. You want them to change, and you want them to do the things you need them to do. You want them to be what you need, and they can’t (or refuse).
But for the broken hearted girl to be no more, you need to accept this. If they wanted to change for you, they would. If they wanted to fight for you, they would. If they wanted to be with you, they would. When you want something, you do anything to get it. People will do what they want – you can’t force someone to care. You can’t force someone to be loyal to you. You can’t force someone to want you. Actions speak louder then words.
3. Don’t Feel Guilty For Doing Things For Yourself
After everything that may have happened, you still want to see the good in people, you give chances after chances. But, how many chances can you give? A time comes where waiting around is only breaking your own heart. Whether you ended it, they ended it or it was a mutual decision. It is still heartbreak. Whether you’re angry because they broke up with you, or you’re angry at their behaviour that made you feel like you had to walk away – you cannot be angry at yourself. In the end, you’ve got to make yourself happy – do not feel guilty for doing something for you.
4. You Will Contradict Yourself
You’ll have mixed emotions just about all of the time. You will contradict yourself over and over and over again. Once day you’ll feel angry, the next you’ll feel sad, and the one after that you might even feel happy. You’ll think you’ve forgiven them and then an hour later, you wont. It’s ok to feel a million emotions at once. You’ll figure it out eventually, it’s all about being patient with yourself. We all say things we don’t mean; don’t stress over the fact you haven’t got it all figured out yet.
5. Don’t Dwell
Dwelling on what it was, and what it could have been is prolonging your broken heart. If they would rather be with someone else – let them. If they can’t see that you’re a good thing over a good time – fine. If they don’t want your love, then you will eventually find someone who does. But, not until you’ve give all of the love you gave to them, to yourself.
6. Enough Is Enough
Walking away from something that isn’t making you happy isn’t weakness, you’ve got to walk away so people see your worth, and there’s strength in realising that. Time is too valuable to waste it waiting around for someone to act right, or to even change their mind. Time is precious, and so are you. Sometimes you have to let go of what’s hurting you, even if it’ll hurt to actually let go.
7. Think Of The Positives
If they don’t want to at least try to be in your life, then why would you want them in it anyway? If all they did was create problems and cause worry for you, then you’re better off alone. Relationships should make you happy, they should not hurt you. Your partner should help you with your problems, not be one. Stop giving the same person endless opportunities to hurt you.
8. Caring Is Courage
Give your self a break. It hurts because it mattered and there is courage in caring that much.Trust the magic in new beginnings. One day it’ll just be easier. Day after day, you’ll think about them less and less, until one day you wont think about them at all. Give yourself time.
9. Focus On The Good
Life isn’t all about romantic relationships – its about friendships and relationships with family and most importantly, yourself. The most important thing in this whole thing is yourself. Focus on the good.
Everyone is different, and everyone has a different version of being broken hearted. Don’t compare yourself to them, or anyone else.