Jen Sincero nailed it in You are a Badass when she said, “Your life is your party. You get to choose how you invite people and experiences and things into it.” Nobody wants to be the person to kick out the drunk guy doing a violent strip tease on top of the table- but someone’s got to do it. When it comes to your life, unfortunately you are that person. So here’s some tips for being a killer bouncer for your life’s party, and to make sure you’re never emotionally taken advantage of.
1. Know your Worth.
If you don’t feel you deserve respect, trust, and support, why would anyone else? Positive affirmations are not just for 40-year-olds going through midlife crises! Get in the habit of telling yourself (silently) that you’re beautiful when you look in the mirror, forgiving yourself when you make mistakes, and affirming yourself you are worthy when others make you doubt it.
2. Cut Weeds Liberally.
There are seven billion people in this world. Seven billion. You can afford to have standards for how you want to be treated, and if someone repeatedly doesn’t meet them, cut them out of your life like a weed being attacked by a sickle-carrying farmer. Maintain that garden girl!
3. Recognize the Signs.
Speaking of signs… do they loiter during the good times then bolt for the bad? Take a seat when you expect them to stand up for you? Throw shade on your light when you accomplish things? Now, is that the way you should be treated? No thank you.
4. Start Dating Yourself.
Start small (eg. go study alone at a cafe). Then, work up to the point you can go to a fancy Chinese restaurant alone and still enjoy the food (ie. me every other night). If you’re not OK being alone, you’ll let unpleasant guests linger at your party. Kick them out and keep the chip bowl all to yourself!
5. Stop Making Excuses.
There’s no excuse for treating someone else like sh*t, so don’t waste your time evaluating their justifications. Stop making excuses, start making new friends.
6. Get Quality Friends.
Because quality friends will tell you when you’re being emotionally taken advantage of. If they don’t, they’re not quality friends. Get new ones.
7. Ask your Parents.
I know: most people hate talking to their parents about this stuff. But they’re old and wise and probably your biggest fans. So ask them.
8. Trust your Gut.
While asking other people’s opinions often helps, at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is how this person makes you feel. If you feel emotionally taken advantage of, something has to change.
9. Have Hobbies.
This goes along with dating yourself. Think of your hobbies as “fun date ideas” for you, yourself, and I. It’s easier to cut negative people from your life when you have hobbies to distract you from the hole they leave. So grab a nunchuck and start working on building your skills.
10. Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up.
Yo, Shy Ronnie, if you think someone is mistreating you- speak up! Why be a bystander to your own bullying? Saying something tells whoever is taking advantage of you that you you’re not down to be their punching bag- you fight back. And if they don’t want to lose you, speaking up will clue them in to change their ways.
Are there any other things you should do to make sure you’re not emotionally taken advantage of? Share in the comments below!
*This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own.
Featured Image Source: weheartit.com
Tigerlily is a freshman at Fordham University at Lincoln Center where she is President of the fashion magazine and Girl Boss (Fordham Women in Business). Prior to New York City, she lived in Barcelona and Seattle, where she released two albums with her indie-rock band, Bleachear. When she's not playing concerts and blogging, she can most likely be found spending time with the love of her life: a big bowl of ramen.