Dating apps are a place where women have the upperhand. After talking to my friends who are men and are on dating apps, I learned something that was common with all of them was that they rarely get matches, bots are an actual thing on apps, and girls never start conversations with them. With that in mind, and with my current goal wanting to get in a relationship, I thought it would be helpful to come up with some tips for women on dating apps to make the whole experience more interesting and fun.
Start A Conversation
I think nine out of ten time this will make you stand out to the guy you’re talking to and he’s going to think you’re pretty frickin’ cool and bold for initiating. If you are asking, “What am I supposed to talk about,” well look at the bio and pictures they have up and ask about those things if you want to ask something that feels more natural than, “How was your day,” or something else that feels unnatural and could warrant a one word response. It also shows you paid attention to their profile. I’d also suggest asking a question that you’re genuinely curious about. That way your response to whatever they say will come naturally and you won’t have to fake interest. They won’t be able to easily tell over text if you’re really interested or not, but it will make the conversation more fun for the both of you. Dating apps are a whole new game and I know Bumble makes it so women have to initiate conversations, but when you do that or make the decision to start one first, remember to ask open ended questions and try to relate it to their profile.
Avoid One Word Responses
I feel like this is a given, but I’ve seen so many screenshots of conversations on dating apps where one person is asking good (or generic) questions that can lead to a real conversation, but is ruined when the answerer gives a one word response. I know multiple conversations are probably happening at once, but I think if you’re going to juggle multiple people at once you should put in the same amount of effort into each person. They are complete strangers, but you made the decision to keep swiping and talking to different people after one conversation was started and it doesn’t feel good to have less effort put into your conversation. Dating apps give you lots of options, but be considerate and thoughtful if you want anything to come out of it!
Ask Them Out
You flip the tables on them and propose a date before they can. Ask them when they’re free, let them know when you’re free, find out if you have any mutual interests or if there are any events going on in town when you’re both free, and ask if they’d like to do something or go to an event. All my friends who are men say they remember every time they’ve been asked out by a girl.
This also takes some pressure off you for later, because if you enjoyed the date you can plan another and since you already asked them out before, it should feel normal and be easier. If you didn’t enjoy the date, you can leave the ball in their court, or just be upfront with them and let them know you’d rather stay friends but aren’t interested romantically. You had the confidence to ask them out and the maturity to let them know how you feel without playing games. Even if you don’t want a relationship and are looking for something more casual, asking them out first gives you major bonus points. It shows you know what you want and you won’t passively wait for them to propose an idea to you.
Give Them Your Number
This tip is related to the previous one, but don’t wait for them to ask for your number. And don’t ask them for theirs either, that may put unnecessary pressure on them or they’ll never give it to you and both are awkward. Giving your number to them then will let you gauge their actually interested in you, because you can see how long it takes for them to text you, what they’ll text you, and the pressure is off you to come up with something to text them if the table were turned. Getting off dating apps as quickly as possible is the main goal because then you can meet in person and I feel like the odds of them ghosting you is drastically decreased.
Be Clear With Your Intentions
Whether this be putting what you’re looking for in your bio, saying what you want within the first few messages, or talking about it on the first date. Don’t lead people on and don’t fake the same intentions as the other person because you ended up liking them a lot more in person than you initially thought you would. I know dating apps are mostly for hooking up, but I believe people have found loving and strong relationships from them. Just be clear with what you’re looking for and bring it up fairly quickly. You don’t have to lead with your intentions, but it’s best to bring it up fast so neither of you waste your time.
Don’t Pretend To Be Someone You’re Not
This is a lot, but basically don’t fake your personality to click with someone else and don’t fake your interests to click with them as well. If you’re a homebody and you match with someone who looks like they’re all about adventure and spontaneity, don’t fake it. That is something you can fake initially, but you will get exhausted after a certain amount of time, the other person will feel betrayed when they find out, and the two of you will be left sad and confused at the end of it all. I know you want to make yourself appealing to the other person, and similar interests are great ways to initially break the ice because you’re both comfortable with something and share that interest. Faking it though just causes problems, lies, and confusion which are not good things to start a relationship on and I don’t recommend it.