Tinder is famous for being the app that people go on to hook up rather than find a relationship. Even if you say “not looking for a hook up” in your bio, people still will ask. While it’s hard to find a relationship on the app, it’s not impossible. Here are 12 tips you can try when you are searching for a possible significant other on Tinder.
Look at the bio
Before you decide to swipe right on a person, you should take a look at their bio. If they filled it out at all, it should say some key things about them that might turn you onto them or turn you off completely.
Their bio can say anything from what kinds of animals they like to what kind of music they like. They can also include if they smoke, drink, do drugs, etc.
And if they don’t have a bio? You should probably swipe left. Meaning you should say no to them. Anyone who doesn’t take the time to fill out something as simple as a bio might not want a relationship to begin with.
Don’t force the opening line
Some people like to get creative with their opening lines. Some like to keep it modest. No matter which way you like to go, make sure it isn’t forceful.
You might think that a huge paragraph as an opening line will get you some attention, but it might just scare them off. Make sure you open with something simple to get the conversation going. To see what kind of person they are before you send any huge paragraphs.
Also, don’t be rude. They might not be able to message back for a few hours even if they just matched with you. They could have been on a short break from work or school and can’t message back at the moment.
And if they forget that they got a message? It might take a day or two for them to remember they even got a message from you in the first place. There’s another human on the other end of the connection so treat them like it.
Have a talking point in your pictures
While it’s good to have just your face and body in some pictures, make sure you have some that have some talking points.
There can be things in the pictures that you forgot to mention in your bio so your potential significant other can use the pictures as possible conversation starters to get to know you and vice versa.
For example, if you have your pet in a few of your pictures they might start a conversation about them. Then you will know if they like those types of animals which can be a deal-breaker if they don’t like those animals or create potential for the conversation if they do.
Add more pictures
The more pictures you have on your profile the better. A picture is worth a thousand words so the more varied pictures you have, the more you have to say about yourself without actually saying it.
The pictures can be of you doing some of your favorite activities, smiling, holding any trophies you might have won, etc. Just make sure they’re pictures you feel you can be proud of and that you want everyone to be able to see.
Try to avoid having group photos
A common problem that everyone agrees on is the issue of group photos in profiles. Sure you like to show off your friends or family, but now’s not the time to do it. You want to make yourself shine and stand out.
If you do want to include one group photo, make sure you have a lot more photos of just you so the person you’re talking to doesn’t have to wonder which person in the picture they’re talking to.
If they don’t seem to care about which one they are talking to, then you should stop talking to them since that’s a big red flag at the very start.
Pay attention to every red flag
Before you go looking for a relationship, you should look up a list of red flags. Some aren’t always obvious, some you choose to ignore.
You should never ignore a red flag. Even if you choose to continue talking to them after noticing it, keep it in your mind while you talk to them.
Some big red flags on Tinder are if they try to talk sexually over and over again when you want to have a real conversation. You might think that you can change them, but you can’t.
Be clear about what you want
Before you say yes to any date, make it clear to them that what you want is a relationship. If all they want is to have sex and move on, maybe you should forget the date with them and move on to the next match.
You will only set yourself up for disappointment and heartache if you go forward with a date with someone who wants nothing more than a one-time fling.
Be the real you
The key to any longlasting relationship is to be who you really are from the start. Maybe don’t go full-on right from the start, but definitely don’t make yourself be someone you’re not. If you are meant to be together, then they will like you just as you are.
That being said, also let them know that they can be the real them around you. If you expect them not to judge you for who you are, then you shouldn’t judge them for being themselves.
Talk to them about more than just one of your interests
No one likes someone who only has one interest. Even if you think you only like one thing, chances are there are plenty of other things you like. Don’t be afraid to go on a small tangent about something you find interesting.
Those tangents can help them see into your mind and figure out for themselves if they like that about you or not. If they don’t? It’s their loss.
Ask questions, get to know them in-depth
While it’s great for them to get to know you, you should also ask them questions about themselves so it’s more of a conversation rather than an interrogation. Once you ask them what they like to do, as further questions about those things one at a time.
You don’t even need to ask them all on the same day. Keep one or two questions in the back of your mind for your possible date with them if it gets to that point.
Once you show that you are interested in them to that degree, they will probably want to ask you similar questions about your own hobbies or meet in person to discuss further.
One of the quickest ways for someone to get to know you is to tell a story about what you did this one time.
If you break up the story into pieces, then it can give them space to ask questions and show their interest in the story.
Telling a story can help them see how you focus on certain details and what some of your habits might be, along with who you might be as a person in general.
Never be afraid to message first. You will never know if you truly want to be with a person until the conversation starts. It’s up to them if they choose to respond.
If they don’t? Again it’s their loss. You tried to start something that could have turned out great if they only did their part of the conversation.