College Life

17 Thoughts You Have If You Go To A Party Sober

There will be moments in college where it is getting close to that time of showering, choosing an outfit, and getting an early start on the pregame on a Friday night. While the sun goes down and you get out of the shower, feeling no motivation to get ready, the FOMO hits you. I myself get FOMO — Fear Of Missing Out at least every single day. You don’t want to miss the party, the memories, or the photo. But you also don’t feel like throwing back the burning liquid down your throat, pretending to be having fun when all you want to be doing is rotting in a sweatshirt. Trust me, we have all been there. So what do we do? We choose to look casually trendy yet subtle, and we go to the party, sober may I add, with our intoxicated friends just so we don’t miss out. If you are or were ever caught in this night out, here are 17 potential thoughts you undoubtedly have had if you go to a party sober.

1. I have never realized the amount of unsteady hands in the room.

Walking around the party is just asking for your clothes to get ruined with the amount of people nonchalantly splashing their drink near you. I finally now know why my white clothes are always a rainbow the next morning. You know this a thought you have if you go to a party sober.

2. Who will I have to run into that only liquid courage can allow me to say hello — and I am cold stone sober.

Confidence shots before the party are necessary when feeling shy. When being sober, casual, and not the most exposed girl at the party can call for competition of my sober confidence. Now I have to fake the “Oh my goodness you are so cute girl, love the outfit!” comments to the intoxicated female population swarming around the pregame. What guys and arrogant amateurs will I have to force unintellectual conversations with? What crush of mine will I have to awkwardly twirl my hair at?

3.  Is that what my friends and I look like when we dance?

The pack of girls in the corner of the party attempting to rap the newest track, while circling around one another twerking the air better not be what my friends and I are viewed as. I am laughing to myself in the corner of the room as it is like a constant rerun of the middle school dances.

4. I hope someone would tell me that it was really getting too hot in there.

I need to start carrying around a pocket cloth with the amount of sweat coming off me and coming off the person next to me. It really gets so hot in the parties, I would really hope I had friends to tell me when I was heating up — literally.

5. I am asking for a lifetime supply of gum after this party.

I understand we have to eat dinner, pregame with assortments of beverages, and it all starts so early. I beg of you, buy a pack of gum and use the damn minty fresh. If one more person comes up to me, reaching in my face, I will throw up. Hygiene, just try to learn about it.

6. Yes, I can hear you, stop yelling and step five feet back please.

I understand the music is loud and the party is overpopulated, but please stop spitting in my face, splashing your drink on my chest, and “whispering” your loud voice in my ear. I need you to take a step back and walk away.

7. If you snapchat one more time, your camera is going to shatter.

Do you not see that there is a party going on before you? Put your phone down and stop snap chatting your abs. Ladies, we get it, your boobs look big, move on. Dude, your side girls will wait for you, enjoy the party. The constant snapchats and interrupted party time from our phones are unreal.

8. Sir, if you do not know the lyrics, just sip on your drink.

And I thought I was somewhat bad with lyrics, I guess not. Half the boys at the pregame do not know the lyrics to the rap song playing at hand. Sir, if you don’t know the lyrics and you keep mouthing random words, I suggest sipping on your drink and later on… just learn the lyrics.

9. Ladies, I am all for dropping it low, but please get back up after.

I know we had one too many girls. I know you love this song and your booty is looking amazing in your outfit. I know all the boys are watching so you have to get in the groove and drop it low. If you are going to pop, lock, and drop it, just do not drop it too low. Especially being the sober one at the party, girl pleases be able to get  back up.

10. The whole “drink till he’s cute” concept must really be true.

You never realize the amount of attention some girls can give guys or visa versa. Walking around the party and seeing the amount of people exchanging these conversations, eyes, and looks just shows the amount of regret they will wake up to the next morning.

11. If I am sober and can have fun, then you can too.

As much as we all say we need alcohol to have fun, it is not all completely true.  Girls should not be standing around staring. Who does that? Enjoy yourself.

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12. I see the annoyance with the photo overload now.

From now on I will try to take all my pictures before the pregame. If I need a photo with someone, I will accept my ugliness within that picture. I completely see the annoyance in the constant picture snapping occurrences happening throughout a party. After the 10th photo and someones responding response of “okay last one, just one more I swear…” I think it is safe to say we all get it, you look fine now put the camera away. You know this is true if you go to a party sober.

13. I am able to remember all of the embarrassing moments of the night.

So this is what it is like to be at a party and remember everything that happened. It is like a whole new world. I have all the answers to what you did last night and I have all the photographic moments planted in my mind of all the embarrassing moments that occurred. HAHA, one of the perks of going to a party sober.

14. Bump and grind all night long, but bump me again and see what happens.

I am all for the dancing and going crazy to any song blaring through the speakers. I know everyone is drunk around me, but watch where your hips are swaying. I get bumped around all the time, and being sober does not help. Out of sarcasm and spur the moment feud, I will “casually” dance right back into you.

15. What will I get to eat when I get home?

Being sober at the party does not help the food cravings from boredom, lack of drunk barriers, and the overall hunger this girl has at all moments. While I am sober at a party, I only think about what I am going to eat when I get home.

16. Laughing that you all will be hungover tomorrow and I won’t.

Come on, if you go to a party sober you, you will be thanking yourself in the morning. While all of your friends are in the pain and trouble of a hangover, you will be loud and proud. I know I always am.

17. Being sober at a party can suck, but the perspective is worth it.

Point blank is you went to the party, sober or not, right? Regardless of the potential thoughts and possible angers, the party was one to remember. And it was ACTUALLY remembered.

Let us know what you think about when you go to a party sober in the comments below!
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