It is a milestone in life. It is a part of growing up. It is awkward, uncomfortable, and often makes for a funny story. Losing your virginity is an awkward experience and even more awkward to talk about. Here are 10 things to expect when losing your virginity:
1. It will not be perfect
No matter how prepared you think you are, how much planning you do, or how much envisioning the perfect scenario you do, losing your virginity will never be perfect.
Often when people lose their virginity, it is at such an awkward stage in their life where they are still developing and figuring out who they are and what they like. This is the time when people are still insecure and vulnerable, and it shows when it comes to losing your virginity.
Just know that you cannot have high expectations when it comes to this moment in your life. You have to just remember to let it be what it is because it will never go exactly the way you want it to.
2. It will be awkward
As previously stated, this is a time period when people are figuring out themselves. Meaning, they are at an extremely emotional and insecure time in their lives, which is why getting naked in front of another person can be a terrifying thing for someone.
You are exposing yourself completely to another person and that can be scary. It’s more often than not that both people do not know what they are doing either, so figuring out something so personal and intricate can be complicated, messy, and just overall uncomfortable. The only thing you can do is to make sure you are 100% okay with the situation and that you can embrace the awkwardness.
3. It never goes as planned
You can plan the most perfect situation to lose your virginity, and it will still not go as planned. You can plan out a romantic evening that consists of a candlelit dinner on Valentines Day followed by rose pedals on a bed, and it will still not be perfect.
Odds are you will both be nervous, which will lead to a lot of awkward tension and an overall awkward situation. You can both appreciate the care and effort you put into making the situation perfect, but odds are in will end up in a struggle with condoms, a bunch of uncomfortable positions, a few uncomfortable giggles, and a night of just figuring things out.
4. It will hurt
Losing your virginity is not all fun and games like the movies make it out to be. It’s going to be a little painful, but that is normal.
You might let out a deep sigh of pain and even shed a tear, which might result to your partner being worried or concerned about you, but this is all normal. Just as sex is new to you, it is also new to your body, and you need to give it time to adjust.
Just make sure you let your partner know to start off slow and to go at your pace to avoid anymore pain than necessary. After a little while, the pain will subside and you will feel better. It might even begin to feel good to you. It is all about taking your time and going at a pace that’s good for the both of you.
5. It will be quick
Since you both are not very experienced in sex yet, it will not last long. In other words, he will not last long because he’s never had to yet. He doesn’t know how it will feel and does not know what to expect, so when it does happen, it will take him a bit by surprise.
He will not be able to control himself just yet, but that is okay because you will probably not want it to last very long.
6. It is not porn
Do not expect sex to be like what it looks like in porn because it will most likely be the complete opposite. Most porn is exaggerated and unrealistic.
Women do not feel so amazing to the point of screaming, and men do not look the way that they do in porn. You will not be doing the positions you see in porn when losing your virginity, and it will not feel the way you expect it to by what you watch in porn.
You also should not try to recreate what you see in porn because you will not get the results you are expecting. You have to remember that porn is directed and made to excite people, therefore it’s extremely unrealistic.
7. It will probably will not feel good
As previously stated, the first time you have sex will not feel amazing. It will probably not feel good at all, it will most likely be painful.
You’re body needs to adjust and get used to it, so a part of that adjusting is pain. You will not be in so much pain that you cannot endure it, but you will be a bit uncomfortable for some time. Again, this is all perfectly normal when it comes to losing your virginity.
8. You might bleed
When you lose your virginity, your hymen rips. Because of this, you may experience some bleeding. You will not experience so much blood that it makes a huge mess, but it is not uncommon to see a bit of blood on the condom after you are done.
This is nothing to be worried, embarrassed, or ashamed about because it happens to almost every single girl. Do not worry about your partner being creeped out by a little blood either. if he knows anything about sex at all, he should know that this is normal and understand that it happens.
9. Sex does not mean love
One of the biggest misconceptions with sex when you are young is that you have to wait til you are in love to have sex, and if you have sex that means you are in love. Sadly, this is not the case. Sometimes people assume that because someone has sex with them, then that means they love them, and this often leads to misunderstanding and confusion as to where they both stand in their relationship.
What might be just sex to one person could mean a mixture of emotions to the other person. For this reason, it is important to make sure you and your partner are on the same page before you decide to take your relationship to the next level.
10. It will be awkward after
Before losing your virginity, it is important to consider what happens for you and your partner after. You both must understand that you might feel a bit awkward after because of the awkwardness you both just experienced while trying to figure everything out.
The good thing about this is that you both will most likely be feeling this way and you can probably talk about everything together. You also will not feel alone in the way you are feeling, which is a plus.
Do you have any tips as to what to expect when losing your virginity? Comment below and tell us what we should know when it comes to this awkward time!
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Hi! My name is Tatum Fales and I'm a senior and communications major at Emmanuel College in Boston MA. My hobbies include writing, binge watching Netflix, and keeping up with every ounce of Celebrity gossip. I'm so excited to be writing for Society19 and I can't wait to share my writing with you!