10 Things To Expect At Your First Mixer


It’s a Wednesday night, you’re two weeks in to your life as a sorority girl, and you just got an email from your social chair (she introduced herself at that one new member meeting, but that’s all you know about her). She informs you that the sorority has a Friday night mixer with one of the campus’ best and brightest fraternity, and tells you its going to be “so fun” and “everyone should try and make it!” It’s your first mixer!

Immediately your head starts racing… what even is a mixer? Will there be drinking? Do you even know anybody from Sigma Apple Pi? Who in the world are you going to recruit as your going-out partners? And WHAT in the WORLD will you wear???

All of these questions went through my head as I got the email informing me of my first mixer. Much like many ‘firsts,’ its not easy to forget this night. So, here are 10 things I wish someone had told me before I went out that Friday night:

1. Don’t wear heels.

Seriously, ladies, don’t do it. Frat guys will immediately identify you as the freshman of the group, a label you rarely want. And not to mention the sore feet! Sure they may give you a little height, but is it really worth it?

2. Yes, there will be men.

No, you probably won’t actually get to know any of them. In fact, I wouldn’t count on it at all. You will be surrounded by sorority sisters, many of which are older and already know the guys in said fraternity, and those who don’t know the guys will be eagerly trying to meet every available man in the room. Don’t be the annoying over-eager sorority girl. Trust me.

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3. Drinking depends on the sorority’s policies, as well as the fraternity’s rules.

Just know that if it happens and you are presented with alcohol, be smart. You don’t want to be belligerently drunk and make the wrong first impression on both your sorority sisters AND the men of the fraternity.

4. Don’t get stressed about it.

One of the best things about being in a sorority is your sisters always have your back. Turn around and there is always a sorority sister ready to save your from that rough first conversation with a pledge.

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5. Get to know your sisters!

This first mixer is often the first time you and your sorority sisters have been out together, and it can also be the night that you meet your best friends. Laugh together, talk together, and have fun with them!

6. Frat houses are gross.

They are the site of party after party, and with the only cleaning services being provided by the pledges, they get really gross. If this is the site of the mixer, don’t wear something you care deeply about, because odds are you will probably get something on it, whether it be punch or last weekend’s leftover spill. Just be careful – it’s not exactly the ballroom at a Marriott.

7. Frat houses also get HOT, especially when you shove your sorority chapter AND the fraternity chapter in one space.

This being said, wear colors that don’t show sweat. Also, don’t do your hair like its your wedding day, because its probably just going to be frizzy and fallen by the end of the night.

8. Forget about the dudes, look for a Big!

Mixers like this are a great way to get to know the girls looking to take littles, and if you are a member of one the sororities that makes you rank girls to get a Big, you’re going to want to get to know all the girls you can, and as quick as you can.

9. Know the fraternity’s reputation.

Ask the older members in your chapter and see what they have to say about the fraternity and plan accordingly. These girls have been to infinitely more mixers than you, and they can tell you the real deal with each fraternity. That being said, it is just as important to form your own opinion, so don’t take everything they say for law.

10. Be yourself!

Don’t wear 10x more makeup than usual, don’t try to act like someone you’re not, and don’t dress like someone you aren’t. You are spending 4 years around these girls (and guys), so start off on the right foot. Make sure you are being true to yourself and you will have a fantastic night!

So girls, get out there. Represent your sorority well, get to know some people, and have fun. Don’t take yourself too seriously, college is about finding yourself, not about being perfect. Enjoy yourselves while you can!!
Featured photo source: thefraternityadvisor.com and mlive.com


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Emily White

Truman State '20 Nursing major with a passion for writing • kcmo born and raised

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