10 Things That Will 100 Percent Happen To You At Grand Valley State University


Every university has its quirks; many students can just accept them and move on in their day while trying to avoid them. However, there are certain aspects of school that no student can escape from, and Grand Valley is no exception to this. While it’s an amazing university that any Laker would brag about, there are some sticky situations all students here will face at some point during their college years here. But, don’t panic, you won’t be alone in facing these! Ask any Laker, and they’ll understand exactly what these things that will 100 percent happen to you at Grand Valley State University are all about.

1. Walk all the way to class in the snow to find out it’s cancelled

This is a common one that will not only happen to everyone at least once, but probably at least once every year as well. Most students being Michiganders, we power our way through the snow assuming class is still on even in the middle of a blizzard. Everyone’s got to be immune to it, right? Nope, not this professor. Class is cancelled and you just walked halfway across campus all bundled up, snow blasting in your face for nothing. It’s ok, happens to everybody! Treat yourself to some Starbucks and maybe check your email before you snowshoe to your next class?

2. Get a ticket in twenty minutes for parking in the wrong lot

You would think that since you’re a student, and pay thousands of dollars to go to this lovely university, that you could park anywhere you please? Unfortunately, you would be wrong. Within an hour, you’ll find a nice orange ticket clipped to your vehicle. Just do yourself a favor and park in the boondocks of D parking lot while saving yourself the much needed money.

3. Be chased by a squirrel who wants your food

Being a very natural campus surrounded by a lot of woodland, there is bound to be a lot of wildlife here. One of the most common? Squirrels. And lots of them. While many can be very friendly, there are some that cannot handle being surrounded by the smells of campus food everywhere they go. So don’t be surprised if one of the little guys comes after you and your Papa John’s pizza or pops out at you from a trash can. Don’t be fooled by their cute little faces; they are driven by a hunger only campus food can satisfy, leaving unsuspecting students as their targets.

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4. Almost get run over by a campus bus and gain free tuition

So it may sound good at first, the free tuition and all, but that all fades away when you’re staring down the 50 connector barreling towards you. Of course they always stop just in time, but they still get pretty darn close. Thanks to the traffic conductors, this doesn’t happen too much anymore, but almost any Grand Valley student can tell you about a time when they got a little too close. Look left and right before you cross, Lakers!

5. Have a closet full of Laker blue and white

It’s inevitable that you will end up with more Grand Valley gear than you could ever fit in your small dresser when free clothing is handed out at almost every campus event. Pretty soon all you’ll be wearing is those wonderful colors around campus and what’s wrong with that? Nothing at all! Wear it with pride, Laker!

6. Spend all of your debit dollars within the first few weeks of the semester

What else are you going to do when someone hands you $250 dollars and tells you that you can spend it all on food whenever you want? Drain your account in less than a month. It’s ok, don’t fret, you can always make that call home to Mom and beg her to download more to your dining account. I mean, how could you avoid all that Ben and Jerry’s just pleading from the C-Store freezer to come home with you? It’s just simply too much to resist. No shame, buddy, no shame.

7. Chase T Haas through a busy crowd just to get a picture with him

If you call yourself a Laker, you also know that T Haas is a local celebrity here at Grand Valley. And people will fight just for a quick selfie with him. Our awesome president shows up to many campus events just to hang out with his students, but with over 25,000 of us here, trying to get a picture is a struggle. You’ll have to squish past crowds of people trying to shout his name and get him to come meet them. But once you’ve done it, you can sit back and feel proud knowing that you have a picture with one of the most famous people at this university.

8. Be greeted by the smell of the turkey farms as you walk to class in the morning

Being that we are in the middle of a farm town, there are bound to be some unpleasant smells from time to time. But nothing, I repeat nothing, can compare to the smell of the turkey farms in the morning. It certainly wakes you up, in a sort of makes-you-want-to-gag way. It’s fine, you didn’t want to eat breakfast anyways.

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9. Gain the freshman fifteen from Fresh Food Company

Let’s all be entirely honest; we all remember how our little freshmen eyes lit up when we heard the words “all you care to eat”. You mean you can literally keep going up for more and more and no one will stop you?! Yes, but we can all admit that we all got a little too carried away with that. Everyone here can trace at least some of the freshmen fifteen back to good old Fresh. But who can blame us, we can’t say no unlimited soft serve ice cream.

10. Realize that being a Laker is the best thing you can be

And it’s true! Yes, our school has some unique quirks to it that every student will have to suffer through. But just think, you could’ve been a Ferris Bulldog or a Northern Michigan Wildcat, which fortunately, you’re not! You are at the best university in Michigan (in our humble opinion) and it only takes you your first moment on campus to realize it. Being a Laker is the best thing you can be! So wear that blue and white proudly and Anchor Up!

What are some other things that will 100 percent happen to you at Grand Valley State University? Share in the comments below!
Featured image source: theodysseyonline.com


Alex Sixt

Grand State University '20. Journalism Major. CLE - CHI - GR.

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