Sometimes it can be hard to embrace the single life especially if people you’re around most are a couple up. However, I’m here to tell you that it is 100% okay to be single as it allows you time to focus on yourself, the things you love and preparing you to be the best version of yourself for when the right person does eventually come along. However, being single can be a struggle at times so hopefully, all my single people can relate to these challenges.
1. Scrolling through social media and seeing everyone’s “relationship goals” posts.
I understand people in a relationship want to keep posting pictures of their significant other. However, speaking from the perspective of a single person, it can be challenging and upsetting to see everyone in a happy relationship. There’s always that pang that “I should have that” or “Why can’t someone love me like that?” It’s important to be happy for those in a healthy relationship, but that doesn’t mean that there is the added pressure that you need to be in a relationship just because your best friend is. Instead of being upset and angry at relationship posts, change your thoughts to center around “I will have this someday” and “I am worthy to be loved.”
2. Constantly redownloading and deleting dating apps.
One day you think it would be a great idea to scroll through and check out your options, but the next day you realize that you can’t stand the awkward conversations or lame pickup lines. I get it! It’s so hard to create a meaningful connection with someone on a dating app, but if that’s what you are really looking for then don’t delete the app. Keep swiping, liking or whatever you choose and eventually you may find a good match; don’t give up. However, if you are just looking for validation from others or are looking to make your ex jealous, it’s best to delete your dating apps for a while. First of all, validation and your worthiness only can come from yourself and you shouldn’t have to hear it from other people. Lastly, if you’re still hung up on your ex and wanting to make him jealous, you should really just take time to process your breakup and then download dating apps when you’re really ready to move on.
3. Every time you go to a family function you can’t avoid the question of “Are you seeing anyone yet?”
For some reason, most families love to know about your relationship status. This definitely applies to me and my nosey Jewish family that constantly wonders if I have me a NJB (Nice Jewish Boy) yet. It’s so frustrating and embarrassing to tell your grandparents, etc. that “Nope, I’m still single.” Maybe instead of answering with just “I’m single” add-in that you’re working hard on your career, school, job, etc. and don’t need anyone to get in the way of your success at the moment.
4. Going on several bad first dates.
I think we can all agree that first dates are the worst. They’re just awkward and uncomfortable for each person and it’s hard to know the right things to say. Even if the date goes well then you have to wait to see if the person wants to go out again and it’s just stressful! Sometimes it feels like you will never meet anyone because every first date you go on doesn’t go well. The struggle is real.
5. Every TV show, movie, or book based on love makes you sad.
You know you’re lonely when it’s a Saturday night and you’re rewatching another teen romance movie and sobbing. It’s like constantly thrown into our face that being single is sad and being a relationship is the only thing you should strive for. It’s not like we should avoid watching movies or reading books about romance, but it’s important to realize that being in a relationship isn’t everything. There is so much more to life.
6. People in relationships tend to avoid asking you for advice about their relationship.
Why do people automatically assume that since someone is single they can’t hand out relationship advice? Just because someone isn’t in a relationship, doesn’t mean that they know nothing about them. They’re perfectly capable of listening to others relationship problems and their advice may even be helpful (I know, crazy right?!)
7. Having the urge to hook up with someone but avoiding it because you know something bad will happen.
Either you will get too attached too fast or you’ll end up regretting it. You don’t want to hook up with someone random, but at the same time it’s been a while and you could really use some action. However, that is the reason that sex toys exist, and that way you don’t have to deal with ghosting or having awkward conversations.
8. Being the third wheel to your friend and their SO.
Who doesn’t love third-wheeling? It’s even more awkward when you’re in public with a friend and their SO and they start kissing or being super affectionate and meanwhile you’re just standing there. My recommendation would to bring another friend along or just hang out one-on-one with your friend in a relationship. That way you won’t feel super excluded and lonely.
9. When people keep asking why things didn’t work out with you and your ex or telling you what they posted.
Sometimes things just don’t work out and there really isn’t a solid explanation for it. It probably was for the best so can’t people just come up with a new topic? Also, I really would prefer not to hear about what my ex is up to because I would rather move on with my life. Does it really matter that they went to the same bar you used to go to or got in a new relationship? No one wants to have their ex’s whereabouts rubbed in their face.
10. Not having to deal with worrying about a relationship and just doing your own thing.
Being in a relationship is great and all, but the best relationship you could ever have is with yourself! You don’t have to worry about someone else all the time and it’s pretty great.
It can be lonely at times, but being single allows you to focus on yourself and the things you love to do. I know social media can make you feel pressured to be in a relationship, but just realize that you are fine the way you are and one day you will find the right person for you!
Do you relate to any of these points on being single? Let us know in the comments below!
Featured Image: https://pin.it/1592exq
Caitlyn is a third-year student at UCLA. She is majoring in English. She enjoys writing, and going to hot yoga classes and, of course, binge-watching Netflix. At UCLA, Caitlyn is a feature writer for HER Campus, part of the American Cancer Society club, and a member of Alpha Gamma Delta.