Whether you’re still just chatting, ‘seeing’ each other or full on boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s okay to have concerns, especially if you don’t have loads of experience and dating is a little out of your comfort zone. If you have any doubts about your guy, then perhaps you may want to consider these important factors in deciding if he is the guy for you… or not.
Does he have time for you?
Perhaps this should be worded as ‘does he make time?’, but whether your guy is free as a bird or has a jam-packed schedule, it does not matter. If he likes you, really truly likes you, he will make time to see you. If he has a lot to do but is still making an effort to make plans with you, then it means you are comfortably cemented in his priorities. You should not expect him to be able to see you at the drop of a hat, but the effort to see you semi-regularly means he is considering you in a potentially serious way. If you find that he continually cancels last minute, or chooses a night out with the guys EVERY time, then he may not be ready for a proper relationship and still wants to explore what is out there.
Is he generous?
Yeah, it’s 2019 and girls shouldn’t expect guys to pay for everything, but it is still nice to be gentlemanly and offer to pay at the beginning of dating. It shows that your guy not only respects the idea of being generous with a girl, but that he wants to treat you because he likes you so much. If your guy grudges spending money, even on small date nights, then I’m afraid that is NOT going to get any better. Some attitudes towards big things, like money, are just bred into us and we can never them. This perhaps should be in its own category, but being generous in bed is also very important. You do not want your guy to only be interested in his own pleasure, and neglect to make sure you are enjoying your sexual encounters. Generosity equals thoughtfulness.
Does he put you before himself?
This can include the first two factors, but as a more general way of behaving, you want your guy to realise how important you are to him and to think of you before himself. For example, if you’re going to the movies and he is happy to see the film you would prefer, then that is a good sign that he is willing to do something you want to do to make you happy. Of course, you should try and do a balanced amount of things that you both enjoy – but if the attitude to think of you first is there, you have a keeper. If he’s always rejecting your suggestions and only doing things he wants to do, then he simply does not care enough about your interests.
What do your family and friends think?
Even quite early on, the opinions of those closest to you are very important – and often eye-opening. You may be a little bit blinded by things – everyone is when they first start dating – but your family and friends know you much better than this guy does, and what they think about him is usually a good indicator of him being good for you. They can also look at the coupling with a fresher, less biased perspective than you and offer you sound advice if you’re worried about things. After all, they love you and want the best for you. Chances are if your mates say he’s no good, he probably isn’t. And best of all, they will be there for you if it doesn’t work out.
How about his friends?
For guys, it can be a big deal introducing his girl to his friends, so sometimes that is a good indicator of how things are going, especially if it’s been a few months. If you have met his friends and they are kind and friendly, and even more importantly, if your guy is still the same around them as he is with you, then that is such a good sign. A lot of guys can be really sweet towards a girl, but then act completely differently with his mates, almost as if he is a different person. If he is also reluctant to let you meet his friends, even if it has been going on a while, he might not be considering you as a proper or long-term girlfriend.
Can you accept your differences?
You may have similar interests, or come from similar backgrounds, but everyone is different and there will be some subjects or things that rise which will test your relationship. It can be anything, from something small like food preferences, to having opposing opinions on things like marriage and children. You’re probably not thinking about those things for a while, but if he is saying outright that he probably never wants to get married and have children, and you know you do someday, then it won’t work out. There can be plenty of disagreements in a relationship about many subjects, but the question is: is he worth it?