Breaking up with a partner is never easy – especially if you have been together for a long time. Here are some tips for ending your long-term relationship nicely.
1. Do It In Person
Whilst ghosting someone might be okay when you’ve only known them a week, there is really no excuse for it in a long-term relationship. After all this time, you owe it to your partner to break up with them in person. To do this, you should plan a specific time and place to tell them how you feel. My recommendation would be at their house, then you can leave as soon as the break-up conversation is over. If you invite them to yours, you will have the awkward situation of trying to make them go home. Do not dump them at a romantic dinner – that only gives mixed messages.
2. Be Kind
Even if you cannot stand the sight of your partner anymore, you should still be kind. Being dumped sucks and doing it with harsh words will only make the whole conversation more horrible. Be gentle. Start off by telling them how you have appreciated everything they have done for you throughout your relationship, this will lessen the blow. Let them know that you are not doing this to hurt them.
3. Explain Your Reasons
Whilst you do not want to be too honest, you do want to explain yourself clearly. You do not need to list every little thing they have done over the years that annoyed you, but you should tell them the truth. If you no longer have feelings for them, if you have met someone else, if you feel stifled, you must tell them. Otherwise, they will spend the next few months wondering what they did wrong.
4. Don’t Ask To Stay Friends Unless You Mean It
Sometimes it seems nicer to say that you want to stay friends with them even if you don’t mean it. This only leads to more problems. They will think they can continue to talk to you, whilst you want a clean break. Ultimately, it makes it really hard to move on when they are still hanging around you. If you want them out of your life, make them perfectly clear during the break-up conversation. Say it nicely, though.
5. Give Them Time
Maybe you do want to keep them in your life. Maybe you just want your stuff back from their house. Either way, give them time to adjust to the break up first. Do not tell them in the middle of the break-up conversation that you are coming around on Monday to collect your belongings. Allow them at least a week or two to gather their thoughts before approaching them again. If they still are not comfortable with seeing you, consider sending a mutual friend to their house instead.
6. Don’t Talk About It On Social Media
There’s nothing worse than being dumped, going home, checking your social media accounts and seeing your now-ex blasting you all your newsfeed. This includes sharing a bunch of break up memes. If you can’t contain yourself, at least do them the courtesy of deleting them from your friends list first. It will be kinder in the long run.
7. Don’t Change Your Mind
You broke up with them for a reason. It can be hard in the first few weeks when you are alone and missing the companionship, and you will probably forget the reasons you left them in the first place. If you go back, however, you will only find yourself in the same position and will probably break up again. Do not give your ex false hope. You wanted to break up. Remember that.