This fall bucket list includes fires, peeping, and cauldrons. So, tie your penultimate list to a cinder block and toss it in the river. Your ultimate Autumn list is here. Not everyone breathes cinnamon through a pumpkin helmet, but you’ve come to the right place. Go get a permanent marker and prepare to cross these off.
Making Apple Butter (The Way Life Intended)
Take out one of your antique, apple butter kettles that you have lying around, hang the cauldron over a campfire, and let those flames lick the edges of that apple-coffin. Fresh Fall apples straight from a tree are the best to use. If you live in the city, just go to your nearest grocery store, get some apples, and throw them in a large stovetop pot. Apples, sugar, and cinnamon are the foundational ingredients to this lovely condiment.
If you’re a southerner who’s never seen it or a northerner who thought it was too cliché, you need to go out and enjoy that rich Fall rainbow of deciduous joy. Take a road trip and roll down your windows. Breathe in that bucolic air and try not to hit a crossing animal. Bring your phone or a full-fledged camera and snap some beautiful, scenic shots of you and your friends—Instagram gold.
Try not to be sketchy while you slow down to gawk at that pretty tree in front of someone’s house, but if they see you, don’t break eye contact with them. Show them you’re a leafer who means business.
Potentially Dangerous Bonfires
This is where you learn which of your friends can keep a fire going. Take a heaping mound of chopped wood, get some kindling, and light that sucker on fire.
Bonfires are the time to get a group of friends and family together. Cook some food. And relax. If that friend—who swears they just need a few more minutes to get it started—looks like they’re faltering, go for a beer run if you haven’t already. Always have a DD.
Hot dogs and marshmallows. Throw some corn cobs in tin foil, get your pie iron (fire-toasted bread with filling), and toss them in the embers. You might need a second fire pit for food.
After you’re done eating, I do not advise you to use gasoline, used oil, tires, or creosote-treated railroad ties that you found—but I’ve discovered that they’re the most fun. Consecrate your fall bucket list by immolating Summer.
I don’t know if you’ve tried it with the cinnamon sugar rim, but it’s next to overwhelming. I’ve had one glass, ever. That was enough for me. But you can’t not try it. Go to a ritzy bar that specializes in craft beers, and ask the bartender for one.
They’ll say, “are you sure?”
And you’ll say, “Autumn me a pumpkin beer before my mood goes cinnamon!”
There are a bunch of festivals to cross off of your fall bucket list. They offer activities such as crafts, food, hiking, and hayrides. Wear your pumpkin chic while bobbing for apples. Make your own horrifying scarecrow. Ski resorts and farms will usually host these events. Enter carving contests. Go drink some fresh apple cider. Eat some candied apples. Bring your friends and family.
You don’t need to sacrificially immolate a human offering in order to grow next years crops.
Horror Movie Marathon
Add a little blood to your fall bucket list by watching anything from “Friday The 13th” to “A Nightmare on Elm Street.” If you aren’t a lover of horror flicks, then you could always watch films like “Halloweentown” or “Hocus Pocus.”