Categories: Relationships

The Pros and Cons of “Making the First Move”

The Pros

It’s a confidence booster

There’s no feeling like it. You finally get the courage to talk to someone you’ve been dying to talk to. Your stomach is filled with butterflies, and you’re a weird mixture of excitement and nerves. It either goes well, or it falls flat. Still, you took a bold step by making the first move. It shows confidence, and guys will be attracted to that. If you’re scared, remind yourself that you only live one life, and it shouldn’t be wasted pining over someone. Make what you want a reality. Keep running those thoughts through your head as you approach him or her. Think positively, and it’ll work in your favor.

It’s a relief

A major pro about making the first move is that you’ll find out early if there’s a future there. Instead of obsessing over someone for years, make a move. The person you’re into might not even be the fantasy that you imagined in your head. The longer you wait, the more your expectations will grow into something it’s not. Find out early if there’s more to this attraction. If there is, then he or she should be excited that you’re making the first move anyway.

The Cons

The ball is in his/her court

So here’s the thing. When you make the first move, the ball switches over to the other person’s court. They get to take what you just put on the table and decide what to do with it. You’ll be able to find out if a person likes you based on his or her reaction to you making the first move. That might be scary to think about, but at least you’ll know he or she will definitely be thinking about you afterwards. Think about it. Even if you don’t like a person, it’s always flattering when someone shows interest, regardless of if you’re attracted to them or not.

It becomes a waiting game

Waiting isn’t fun. Once you make the first move, you might be expecting them to ask you out, or show some sign of moving forward. But they could be expecting the same thing from you, especially considering you were the one who showed initiative to begin with. That’s the epitome of dating. It’s confusing because you don’t want to come off as too aggressive, but you want to seem interested at the same time.

See Also

It can be intimidating

It takes a lot of confidence to approach a person and make the first move. However, the person you’re pursuing might assume that you’re talking to several people at once. He or she might also assume you’re taken already because of your outgoing personality. That’s when flirting gets complicated. You need to let him or her know what your intentions are and if you want something serious. Also, drop some hints that you’re single.

In the end, the pros ALWAYS outweigh the cons because you’re not left waiting, wondering and full of answered questions. Whether making the first move results in actual relationship or puts an end to an infatuation, test the waters because what do you have to lose? If it doesn’t work out, at least you know sooner that it isn’t meant to be. If you’re contemplating making the first move, just do it already. You get one life to live. Be bold.

Featured image source: and
Kavita Singh

Kavita is a student at State University of Plattsburgh and will be graduating in 2018. She enjoys hosting an on-campus radio show called "Happy Hour."

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