Have you ever been on a double date? Many assume they are a great time to bond with another couple. What we may have not realized is going on a double-date is similar to declaring war on each other. Here is my experience as to why I believe the most vicious unspoken battle in a relationship is the double date.
I’m pretty sure we have all been in a situation in which you are out with one of your close friends, and out of nowhere, you are in the middle of some form of friendly competition that you did not plan for. A double date invites competition and comparisons.
The Prelude to the Double Date Battle
Most people in relationships believe that another couple cannot outdo their relationship. Regardless of the couple have been going through a rough patch in their relationship, they try to hide it once they go out in public. Men and Women are very competitive. Once friends confirm the double date, it is like a light bulb goes off in one’s head, and the idea says, “Oh, they are not going to outdo us.” I’m not saying everyone thinks like this during this situation. Based on my experiences and the stories I’ve heard, there is an unspoken rule that many people address.
I remember going on a double date with one of my closest friends. My partner and I were dating for six months before this date. My friend had been dating his girlfriend just roughly over a year. At that moment, I didn’t understand what I just had gotten myself into. My friend was a relaxed guy, similar to myself, not very big on affection. Heck, I never even seen them hold hands until that night.
He picks me up first before we head over to our dates houses. We were talking, laughing, and just chilling on the route toward their homes. We picked up my date first. That was weird to me, but I did not pay it any mind. I texted my partner; we were outside. My date quickly ran outside and got in the back seat next to me. Everything changed once we pulled up upfront of his girlfriend’s house. My friend gets out of the car and holds the door open for her. I thought nothing of it, but my date sure did. I received a text from my partner, who was sitting right next to me. The text read, “You just don’t care about me; I never get the door opened for me.” Now at this moment, I could have done two things. I could have said whatever and played it off as if I did not even read the text, or I could have addressed it, and the night could’ve been ruined. Therefore, I choose to ignore the text.
Arriving at the Battle Grounds
We eventually arrive at some fancy restaurant in Virginia Beach. We walked into the restaurant and sat down at one of the booths in the middle of the establishment. Both parties didn’t like the seating arrangements. The waiter decides to place us closer to back of the establishment, closer to one of the windows. Both parties finally sat down satisfied.
The first volley of arrows
My friend says, “Before we begin, I must say something.” I’m sitting there looking around the table, like I know he is not about to pop the question. Of course, he doesn’t ask her to marry him; instead, he says, ” I just want my girl to know that she completes me.” He suddenly gives her one of those behind the doors kisses, with a lot of spit and tongue. It was disgusting. I realized while he was kissing her, his left eye looked at me. He stopped and asked, “Does this bother you?” I played it off like it wasn’t bothering me, but it was because he was acting too weird to me. So eventually, it was time to order, and he aggressively told his date that she could buy anything she wanted. He kept mentioning the same point over and over. I looked over at my partner, and she didn’t look too happy with me, but I didn’t do anything to her.
The cavalry began to advance
As the waiter stands over us writing down our orders, his date looks at him and says, “You are just so better than all the other men out here.” She illustrated with her hand the getaway gesture in my direction. I felt under attack, and my girl made that agreeing noise when his date made that statement.
Both armies advance
That’s when my eyes opened and realize what my partner was feeling. I turned to my girl and whispered: “Baby, let’s get them because they don’t know who they were messing with.” She smiled, and from that moment on, it was a couple against couple. We tried to one-up each other the whole night. If he had a story, I had a better one. If she had an account, my girl had a better one. It was like playing a game of chess. Whichever couple made a move at that table, the other couple would respond. Eventually, the night would end with all of us still going back in forth until the last person was dropped off. The next day my friend and I were playing basketball. I asked him why we were playing, “Why were you doing so much at dinner?” He looked at me and responded, “I didn’t want you to show up me, with my girl around” I laughed and kept playing basketball.
Now for most people, double dates may not end up in the way It did for me. If your double date happens to go similar to mines, be prepared to represent and stand your ground. Remember, though, your relationship is only between you and your partner. It would help if you didn’t care about what other couples are doing. As long as you and your partner are happy, that’s all that matters. Don’t try to be another couple.
What do you think about going on double dates? Tell us about your experiences in the comments!
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Morgan State University Alumni. Military veteran.